When I first began using online dating sites, I had an image in my mind of the exact type of man I was searching for. I wanted a man who was tall, ruggedly good looking, lots of tattoos, was a ‘tough’ guy on the outside but a big teddy bear on the inside. I wanted him to have a decent job, a decent car, and his own place along with a crazy sense of humor to make me laugh on a daily basis while being protective, respectful and kind. Phew, that’s a lot. I think we all have a mental picture we have painted of what we want our perfect mate to be. The problem is, that perfect person most likely doesn’t exist or if they do, they are probably not single and mingling on dating apps..
It’s a reality that we must face sooner or later. There is a 99% chance that we will not find our perfect idea of a match and we then have to figure out what ideals to rid from our minds while on the search for the love of our lives.
Think of all of the people you have overlooked because they didn’t tick each one of the boxes that you had listed in your mind. Maybe you swiped left on a girl because she was a little chubby or you ignored a guy because he didn’t like the same music as you do. The fact is, the person you overlooked may very well have been an amazing human being and a great match for you but you missed that opportunity.
Eventually, you have to learn to lower your expectations a bit otherwise you may be searching for that ‘perfect’ person for the rest of your life. You have to learn to open your mind a little bit and allow people a chance that you may not have given them in the past. I mean, really, is having tattoos really a necessity? Figure out the things that are really important to you such as kindness, respect, and responsibility instead of going only for the meager shallow things that aren’t really that important in the grand scheme of things.
Let’s be honest, we all like to look at what is on the outside. It’s important to have some sort of sexual attraction to a person that you are thinking about dating. If you aren’t attracted to someone at all, it will never work however, a person does not have to be drop dead gorgeous in order to be attractive. Sometimes an amazing personality can make an individual dazzling. It’s true that looks fade with time but a fascinating personality can last a lifetime.
You have to decide what the important factors are in finding a lover. Important things can be things such as having a good job and a reliable car. Do they need to be rich and drive a luxury car? To most of us, probably not. Do they need to be a considerate and kind person? Probably yes because no one wants to be with a douchebag that others can’t stand to be around.
If you are looking for your forever life partner, you have a lot of things to consider. Your personalities must be able to click but just make sure that you are not swiping away your chance of finding true love based solely on a photograph. We all know that not everyone looks the same as their photographs portray and we all preach about not judging someone on their looks but photos are typically the first thing we look at it when we are browsing through dating profiles. Would you want someone judging you based solely on your looks instead of taking the time to get to know the real you? I have had many experiences where I began talking to a man because I thought he was good looking and matched my Mr. Perfect, only to find out he was a complete idiot that I had very little in common with after getting to know him. Looks can only get you so far.
This is one of the biggest reasons why everyone should take the time to fill out their profile completely. I know it can be a pain in the ass but it’s important. If you are looking to find someone who you truly click and match with then you have to be open in your online dating profile otherwise what reasons would a possible match have to spark up a conversation?
Your perfect match may be hiding behind an unperfect photograph that you may be ignoring whilst being occupied searching for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. Expand your mind and your opportunities before swiping away the love of your life.
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