The Control Freaks and Swindlers Running eHarmony

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I used to belong to eHarmony a few years ago and just instantly hated the site after the first few days because they don’t let you do your own search. Instead they send matches to you based on some highly touted “scientific” matching methods. So when I came across a fantastic survey on, with the latest entry dated February 2017, I couldn’t resist digging deep into the entries and analyzing the data to see just what is going on inside eHarmony these days.

I cataloged all 1,826 entries into the top 10 categories. The results really surprised me! I thought the major complaint would be their opaque and nonsensical matching methods, and geographic location does have a whopping 50% of the complaints lodged. But the number one complaint occurring in 55% of the entries is the even MORE opaque and mystifying membership rules for joining, canceling and avoiding auto-renewal.

I was hoping to see some improvements over their old system but instead it looks like they’re even more controlling than ever plus playing a shell game with people’s money.  Apparently the 3-day cancellation clause is not in bold print on the sign up page but instead buried deep into the Terms and Conditions, along with the opt-out for auto-renewal clause.


The survey is rampant with very long stories of a stonewalling customer service department that dispenses advice instead of a refund.  The eHarmony member support also sticks heavily to the 3-day cancellation policy even though they didn’t provide matches for these people by Day 4!

And eHarmony won’t accept your profile if you are separated. Singles only. But you don’t find that out until you spend all afternoon filling out the profile and answering all their profile questions.

Another big top annoyance is their profile system which doesn’t allow the new member to set personal preferences for physical appearance or features.   And many complained about eHarmony sending them matches that were clearly out of their age range plus the aforementioned geographic gap, sometimes with matches being too far away, like 100 miles too far.

The most galling of all rip-offs by eHarmony is not in the top 10 I listed, but nonetheless hugely frustrating:  Many complaints were about eHarmony assimilating all the profile information from the new member, charging for the new membership and then informing the new member a few days later that, “Sorry, we could not find any matches for you at this time.”  Fine, no harm no foul as long as you can get your money back.  But…whoops!  Your 3-day cancellation period has passed!

I’m sort of amazed eHarmony is still online much less not being sued in some massive class-action suit.
Mandy (because is an anonymous forum for online singles).

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Mandy is the founder and web developer for, an online community for 50+ singles who wish to share, learn and write about their online dating experiences anonymously. Having been single on and off since 2001, Mandy has joined and quit more dating sites than she cares to count. The frustrations of dating past the age of 40 are many and betting that they are also widely shared, Mandy created Mandy’s List, which not only serves as a sounding board for millions of middle-aged singles but also provides specific tools for making a single person’s time on a dating site as short and sweet as possible.

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