Unrequited love looks romantic in movies and in fairy tales, but contrary to what we’ve all been shown, romantic feelings that aren’t returned is not something that feels nice to the person who craves a return on their investment. When you invest your time, energy, and emotions in someone, you want to see that your efforts are not made in vain. How do you know when to walk away from a situation in which you’re pouring your heart out and getting nothing much else in return? When is the right time to throw in the towel and allow yourself to move on to someone more appropriate who returns your feelings? Here are a few ways to tell if you’re in a one-sided relationship that is on the road to nowhere:
Your Stress Levels Are Always High
A good relationship that is meant to be is supposed to feel easy, not stressful. Do you find yourself having difficulty falling asleep because your mind is racing with thoughts about the object of your affection? Are you usually stressed out about how to gain the interest of your crush? If so, then you need to examine the reasons why you’re investing so much of your energy on someone who is clearly not investing in you as much as you are investing into them. People who are in healthy relationships don’t lose sleep over the relationships that they are in. Your emotions need to be healthy in order for you to function, and you won’t function properly if you’re stressing your mind on someone who does not hold you in the same esteem that you hold them.
You’re Always The One Reaching Out
When you’re always the one making the initial phone calls, sending text messages, and buying gifts for your sweetheart, you need to realize that it shouldn’t always be you who is making the efforts to keep the relationship between you two alive. Someone who really wants to be with you will be calling you up, asking you for dates, complimenting you, and remembering your birthday. Ask yourself this question; what do you gain from being in a relationship where the other person is always benefiting from your generosity and interest? A healthy relationship would be much more balanced. If you’re the main person who is showing an interest, then you’re not on equal playing fields.
Your Needs Aren’t A Priority
You’ve gone all out to prove your devotion to someone, and when they don’t reciprocate, it’s clear that you are of little importance to them. Why do you allow yourself to be treated this way? Could it be that you’re seeking attention and that you will only feel validated when you can get the object of your affection to show their appreciation by thanking you for all of the things that you do? If that’s the case, then you need to consider the fact that you shouldn’t have to buy someone else’s commitment to you. If it’s a genuine commitment, money wouldn’t be a factor in the way that it is when it’s a job role. For example, when you dine at a restaurant, you expect your server to be committed to providing high quality customer service to you. But, you’re realistic and you know that if you weren’t compensating your server, your needs would not be a high priority to him or her at all. Would your significant other continue to show you scraps of attention if you weren’t footing the emotional or financial bill? Observe your interactions very closely. If your needs are clearly not a priority, then it’s best to go your separate ways.
The people who you think you need in your life are not always the people who will come through for you when you’re facing tough times. There should be an equal amount of give and take in every solid connection, and if you are always the giver and never the receiver, then you’re doing yourself a disservice. Holding onto to someone because of familiarity is a bad decision. Cutting ties with someone who doesn’t contribute positive value to your life is a good decision, especially when there are already so many other fish in the sea to choose from. Find someone who welcomes you into their lives and who doesn’t take advantage of you. You’ll always feel good about your life when you know that you’re making the right decisions.
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