Did you ever see the musical Camelot? Not my most favourite show I must admit, but I did like the song King Arthur sings about how to handle a woman. And the sentiments expressed in it are as relevant today as they were in the past. Perhaps more relevant, since in this day of transient and quite complicated relationships, the skill of ‘handling’ our love lives can be fraught with heartbreak.
So, how to handle a woman? As a woman with a twenty-three year marriage behind her plus a few relationships, I’ve come across some fundamental flaws in a man’s approach, so really it’s a case of how NOT to handle a woman. Here are some of the main ones, from my own experience, which I think are important.
It’s very easy to put your life in boxes, ticking of your acquisitions and achievements like a shopping list;
- Career (tick)
- House (tick)
- Car (tick)
- Companion (tick)
Becoming an acquisition is a lonely business, since being part of the furniture and ignored is tantamount to becoming invisible. Put simply, if a woman feels ignored, resentment brews and mutiny grows. Not feeling worthwhile is demeaning and friction will develop as she tries to explain her feelings to her man. Men don’t do ‘feelings’ and tend to believe that a woman talking about her feelings is only whining about nothing. And then they switch off. We’ve all seen it; that glazed look that comes into his eyes as his mind wander to what he plans to do after he’s got through this. Similar to going to the dentist.
I can be brief with this one;
Him: “I should move in with you.”
Me: “Oh, why do you think that?”
Him: “I’m paying a mortgage and your house is paid for. It’ll be cheaper.”
Yeah, right, like I’m going to fall for that one! (I was already ironing his shirts).
Relationships can last a long time or sometimes only for a few months, but I’m often overwhelmed how some folk have relationship after relationship where you can’t see the join. I believe this is simply because they’re desperate not to be on their own. Being on your own doesn’t mean you need to be lonely. We all need time to gather our strength especially after coming out of a relationship. And it’s healthy, mentally and physically, to take time out before embarking on another romance. We all need a little ‘me’ time.
Of course, there’s a problem with this. In this world of couples where even a holiday brochure says; ‘Prices for two adults sharing’, we tend to get brainwashed into believing that we need someone else in our life to function properly. I agree that no one really wants to pay the ‘single-person supplement’ either for a holiday or in life. But independence can be wonderful while you learn about yourself. It makes you a better person; a more confident person.
So, how to handle a woman? As the song says; Just love her. But I’d like to add something else. Love means different things to many folk, but if it’s based on the premise that you’re with her because you know you can’t be without her, you’re going in the right direction of how to handle a woman.