New Year…New Dating Life!
For singles in midlife, dating again can feel vulnerable, even scary. After my marriage of 26 years ended in divorce, I knew I still wanted to share my life with someone special. I was on my own for the first time and had no clue what dating was supposed to be like. I had no one to answer my questions about how to date again. I ended up dating badly! I later became a certified life coach and recognized that I was repeating certain dating behaviors and it was time to develop new strategies for finding my mate. I was on a mission to find my man! I developed successful strategies and they worked! I met and married, Jack, the love of my life.
Did I need to get out of my comfort zone to find my love? Well…yes! I was willing to accept my discomfort to achieve my dream of finding my perfect partner.
I help women (and conscious men) get out of their comfort zone. When they get clear on their intention, they are in a position to do what it takes to call in love. And they do!
This can work for you, too. Here are tips to break out of your comfort zone and have dating success whether you are getting back in the dating saddle after many years or not having success using your own strategies.
- Clear the clutter in your home and create space for the special man you are calling into your life. Get rid of photos or reminders of any ex’s. Bring in romantic artwork and create space, in your bedroom, for your new love.
- Put thoughts of your ex to rest. It keeps you from being emotionally available to new love. Create a forgiveness and gratitude ceremony and close the door to your past relationship in order for the door to open for the wonderful man and relationship that you are calling in.
- Dump the Frump! Go through your wardrobe and donate clothes that are tired or unflattering. Wear your existing clothes in new combinations. Bring in new energy and buy flattering clothes and accessories. They’ll help you feel confident, attractive and sexy. Get a new haircut that will make you look fabulous and feel desirable. Seek out the makeup counter at a department store and have a makeup artist give you a fresh look. Go out into the world looking great everyday and you’ll look and feel date ready!
- Treat dating as a journey and take on an attitude of finding fun and joy in the process. Avoid obsessing whether the man you’ve just met is the one, be mindful of dating to date rather than dating to mate. Go out and have fun!
- Let go of the myth that there are “no good men out there.” It’s simply not true. Go out on several dates with men that don’t fall into your notion of a typical look or personality type. Shift your perspective and cast a wider net. You’re likely to discover gems that you would have overlooked.
- Strike up a conversation with a new man and sharpen your flirting skills, even if he turns out to be unavailable. Next time, you’ll feel more confident about approaching an attractive man.
- Dating isn’t a skill you are born with. Be open to getting help. Your support network, i.e., friends, family, therapist and dating coach are here to help you make your dating journey successful!
I can help you work through any confusing or dispiriting aspects of dating. The core idea behind coaching is that you have someone who is rooting for you and giving you inspiration, courage and ideas about how to proceed. Having me in your corner can make all the difference to your dating success.
Ronnie Joy, The Midlife Dating Coach, is a certified life coach, community leader, international bestselling author and speaker. It’s her passion to teach midlife singles how to successfully attract and keep a wonderful partner.