Everyone’s got to make a living, and while it’s not mandatory that you have to be in love with your job, it is recommended that you at least like your career. When you are working in a career that you can barely tolerate, your emotions will constantly be on edge because you aren’t happy with what you’re doing but you feel that you need the money and you have to hold on to your job for survival. Many people who are in unhappy relationships hang onto relationships that aren’t working because they are afraid to let go of something that is familiar and facing the unknown. However, what should you do when the career that you barely tolerate is the career of the person who you are dating? Should you and can you stick around someone who is not living up to their potential? Here are some reasons why your partner’s job choice impacts your future together.
I have owned dating websites since the year 2009, and in all of the years that I’ve been networking and reaching out to single people, I’ve never once heard anyone tell me that they WANT a partner who doesn’t have a job. Even mature singles who I’ve met who happen to be retired don’t want to be involved with someone who doesn’t have disposable income. Now, you might think that these people are judgmental and shallow for not wanting to get romantically involved with someone who is financially struggling, but these individuals are being perfectly reasonable. Dating is similar to building a life, and dating requires investments of time, emotional energy, and money. It’s not fun dating someone who never seems to have any money and is always looking to you to pay for dates, or worse, bail them out of a jam. Even if you are a homebody and prefer staying in for dates, it costs money to maintain a home.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of choices. When people don’t have much money, they usually feel stressed because they don’t feel certain that they will be able to make ends meet without a large influx of cash. If you’re dating a man who complains about his job on a daily basis and you’re bewildered that he is holding onto a job that is an obvious dead end for him, you’ll likely lose respect for him. This isn’t a perfect world that we live in, but we each have the free will to make different choices if we want to. When your partner’s complaints about their job dominate the majority of your conversations, you’ll be affected too. Why should you constantly be exposed to the unpleasantness of your mate’s choice to remain in a job they don’t fancy? Yes, your partner has a CHOICE to keep their job or to leave it, and the fact that they are choosing to be miserable should be a wake-up call to you that if they won’t take initiative to fix what they don’t like about their jobs, they will take the same attitude towards their union with you.
A career helps to build character, and your partner’s approach to his or her career is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Your job doesn’t tell the entire story of who you are, but how you approach your vocation impacts your life. If your girlfriend is always quick to quit jobs, sneaks out of work early, and casts all of the blame onto her co-workers for why she can’t advance in her position, then perhaps she is showing you a reflection of how she will behave in your relationship with her. Do you want to date someone who fails to take responsibility for her part in your partnership, just like she refuses to take personal responsibility for her role in her workplace? Character building is a huge part of career life, and personal character impacts relationships too.
You don’t have to love your mate’s job, but you should carefully consider all of the ways that your life will be affected by how your partner chooses to spend his or her time. Income often dictates how time is spent. After all, you probably won’t be going on luxury vacations, supporting charity events that are important to you, and building a home with someone who isn’t in a position to contribute to those things. Your loved one’s career doesn’t have to be the same as yours, but if you want to build a certain kind of life with someone, you need to be sure that your financial efforts in the relationship will be met halfway. Otherwise, you’ll always be the heavy in a relationship that should ideally be equally balanced.