C is for Communication Calamities

C is for Communication Calamities
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Whenever you read about what keeps a couple together they always have communication in their top 5 things. However we rarely talk about communication whilst dating. We’ve talked about when texting is not a winner but sometimes calling can be painful too. We’ve lost the art of conversation in this modern age and intelligent dating is a chance to get it back. Don’t fall victim to being a poor or selfish communicator. I’m sure you’ll recognize some of the people below and if you don’t, then you could be guilty of some of these things. Please stop.

#AtoWed continues with Communication. Hope you enjoy. Chelsea x

When they interview you.

Nobody likes being interviewed. It’s one of the most stressful things along with childbirth, house purchases and a wedding. So when the phone rings and then you get a stream of questions about who you are, what you want and whether or not you have children i.e., how accessible is your bedroom to them at night and on the weekends, this is not a win. Both parties are equally guilty of this which leaves very little conversation for the date. I appreciate a few practical, scheduling questions are necessary to set up said date such as where you live and what time you finish work but, a whole heap of quick fire questions don’t work for anyone. Please refrain.

When they late night chat.

I get it. You’ve just come off a shift or back from a night out and feel like unwinding with a conversation. This is normally code for horny or lonely. The other person has to be at work for 8am. A one off long chat which catches both parties unaware is cute but any more than once early days is just ridiculous and rather selfish. Stop it. Call your mother or a therapist if you feel the need to talk about yourself for an hour. Don’t call a relative stranger. It doesn’t impress anyone.

When they just talk about themselves.

Sometimes conversations are just monologues. No matter what you say they’re able to make it about them and chat about it, ad nausea. I feel that after some conversations I could actually answer security bank questions because I know pet’s names, where you first lived, every school you went to, your mother’s maiden name etc. This can’t be fun for anyone. What ever happened to talking about current affairs and who has entered the Celebrity Big Brother house? OK I don’t actually know anyone in the CBB house but something other than person details, thoughts and your relationship catalogue is a good place to start.

How-Couples-Can-Argue-BetterWhen you fundamentally disagree on how to communicate.

Sometimes you try to tell someone what your preferred communication style is. They often decide that you are wrong to have such a different style and thus begins the
communication dance or fight. How often should they call? How long for ? What do you want to talk about. Should one keep it light or talk about the heavy stuff? It’s a negotiation and those most likely to resolve this quickly have a fighting chance. Best to try to compromise.

 

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Chelsea Black is a full time sugar addict, part time matchmaker / coach and aspiring 2nd wife. The search has turned into a quest and she’s currently on a #40DayDating challenge. In the interim she’s sharing her wisdom whilst sitting on a beach sipping on cocktails. OK, she’s probably at her office job but in the evening she allows herself some Prosecco. #AtoWed is her first series exclusively for Singles Warehouse.

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