The Mosby Rule

The Mosby Rule
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Though I was never an avid viewer of How I Met Your Mother, I remember one line in an early episode where the alarmingly forward Ted Mosby says, “You know what? I’m done being single, I’m not good at it. Look, obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t. I’ll tell you something though, if a woman, not you, just some hypothetical woman, were to bear with me through all this, I think I’d make a damn good husband, because that’s the stuff I’d be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good father and walking her five hypothetical dogs. Being a good kisser…”

I’m struck by how many of us “millennials” lack the ability to show anywhere near the honesty and vulnerability Mr. Mosby showed with such ease every week on my TV screen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way pegging him as “the perfect man”, I don’t think such a thing exists, but I do admire the way he knew what he wanted and went after it, making the same mistakes along the way we’d expect from a 20-something.

As a single girl having lived in both New York City and Washington, D.C., I am acutely aware of the dying breed that is: honesty and vulnerability. I won’t bore you with adolescent tales or the struggles of dating wannabe artists in Brooklyn in my early 20’s. But I’m 28 now. I am in no way old, but I am most certainly reflect more on my dating trajectory than I ever have before.

There have been filmmakers, writers, lawyers, architects, musicians, politicians and the ones whose occupations escape me at the moment. Sometimes reasons for heartbreak were brutal, like being cheated on. Some of these avoided topics were completely reasonable, such not being in a place to date, or feeling overwhelmed at work, or not being over an ex, or considering moving out of the city, or having financial problems, etc. Instead of sitting me down (in person, that’s important) these perfectly nice men would disappear into the ether – not to be seen or heard from again.

I’m not going to go into a diatribe on disappearing acts, cause no one’s got time for that, but it seems to me that a lot of the insecurities women feel are connected to a man’s fear of honesty and vulnerability – traits that women feel are the sexiest of all the traits.

Take a note from Mosby – if you are in a place to meet “the girl” and you’re dating someone who clearly isn’t, tell her that. If you’re going through a transition at work and feel too overwhelmed to make plans with friends, let alone coordinate a dating schedule, say so. The sooner you do that the sooner you won’t be tagged on sites just like these as “that dick.”

If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try Singles Warehouse today!

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Native New Yorker currently navigating our nation’s Capitol. Founder of WhatBoysMayCome.com, an online forum for female millennials to share their stories of dating and relationships in the modern world – the good, the bad and the ugly. Her likes include dogs, cheese, throw pillows and 90’s teen flicks. Will write for scotch.

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