5 Reasons not to Have Sex with Her Even if you Want To by @SWIPERIGHTDIARY

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The date might be going well, there is some sexual tension in the air, you are horny as hell because it’s been a while, and you’ve got Barry White loaded on your iPod…but that doesn’t mean that you have to do the deed.

5 Reasons not to have Sex With Her Even if you Want To:

1. Too Drunk

If eitwhen not to have sexher you or your date are too drunk, since most dates inevitably involve having some drinks together, don’t have sex! I’ve been on a couple of dates where I turned up to find my date dribbling in the corner.  God knows how they manage to text me to arrange logistics in the first place.  If you arrive and they literally throw themselves at you or your crotch, this is a bad time to opt for Kama Sutra practice. This will only end badly, call her a cab, shove her in it and leave.

2. She Lives with her Mom

When you get asked back to a lady’s house and you find out she lives with her mum, put on the brakes and don’t sleep with her! Yes, believe it or not this has happened to me too.  Think about the morning guys, let alone her mum hearing the screams from her daughter’s bedroom as you nail her to the bed with childhood teddies flying everywhere.  Creeping downstairs in the morning to find your date’s mum in the kitchen.  This is the worst kind of walk of shame, DON’T DO IT !!

3. She Likes You More than You Like Her

When you’ve been on a couple of dates and know deep down you don’t want to take it any further, but you know she’s keen on you, it’s not a good idea to complicate things by having sex.  Doing it at this point will only consecrate her ill-conceived feelings for you.  Be a man and walk away.  You want to avoid potentially driving a normally sane lady to bunny boiler status if you take advantage and then dump her.  If you value your balls, your neighbors perceptions of you, and your phone number, then walk away!

4. No Condoms

If you don’t have any condoms on hand, and you’re tempted to go ahead with it because she says she’s on birth control to dive in bare back, don’t do it!  After a few drinks, you might not think about the consequences as the purple headed warrior’s brain takes the lead.  If neither of you have condoms, do something else.  You can lend each other a hand or just go to the toilet yourself and spank the monkey.  If it’s a quick fling, it will only lead to a trip to the clap clinic to make sure you both haven’t transferred something bad to each other.  Do it too many times and you will become a regular at the clinic; no one wants that kind of status.

5. It’s the First Date 

If you can last until the second or third date to have sex, try and avoid it on the first.  However keen she appears to be on the first date, she will often come to the guilty conclusion that it’s only sex you seek from them.  However much you tell them that you are looking for something serious, starting off with sex always muddies the water.  Hold out and it will make you seem like more of a gentleman, and set you aside from the rest of the players out there.

Sex is great with the right partner, if you avoid these five situations it will certainly make your dating a lot easier and gain you some serious respect at the same time.

If you have any top tips for when not having sex is the best option with your lady or gent please share them with me in a comment below.

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James is a 35 year old executive and dating blogger based in London. Dating in the city has opened his eyes in ways he never imagined. Everything in his blog is based on real events. Single Gents, you are not alone, you have just as many interesting experiences and discussions as the Ladies. Like this article? Have a dilemma? Ask James http://swiperightdiaries.co.uk/ask-james/


  • September 19, 2014


    “If she lives with Mum?” I am living with my parents at the moment (I’m 32), I don’t think it’s a reason not to bring a guy home. We are all adults, my parents know I fuck, they know I have been having sex for awhile now. I think that was a silly reason to put in.

    • September 20, 2014

      James S.

      @girlseule to most guys staying over at a parents house brings back memories of teenage dating. Of course people still live with their parents but for a guy, the walk of shame and being introduced to your dates parents in the morning and knowing you have just had sex with their daughter is a troubling thought 🙂

      • September 21, 2014

        Singles Warehouse

        Absolutely… There’s a time and place to meet the parents and that really isn’t it.

  • September 19, 2014

    Meena Avery (@tweettoimpress)

    Oh my gosh, yes, these are all great reasons! Awesome post!