So you’ve met a new guy. Things are going well – he’s fun, handsome, charming, and potentially a great match for you, but you’re worried he’s just looking for sex. How can you tell if a guy is serious about you or just looking for a quick hook up? Here’s some hints straight from the source that you can use to figure out if you’re wasting your time.
He’s flaky and inconsistent with your dates
If you notice that he frequently cancels dates with you, makes last-minute plans, or can never seem to agree upon a future date with you, it could be because he’s seeing multiple women and struggling to juggle the schedule. When a guy is seeing multiple women, he’ll frequently “go down the list” when deciding who to spend his time with for the night, scheduling and rescheduling dates until he gets an evening with his “best option” for the night. Be especially aware of late night invites as well. If a guy invites you out after 10 pm, it’s often because he already had a date that evening that didn’t go his way, and you’re his “next best” option.
He doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family
You know he’s not a complete loner. He has friends and loved ones, and if he’s serious about dating you, there’s simply no reason he wouldn’t introduce you to them after you’ve been seeing each other for a while. If he avoids opening up that part of his life to you, it’s likely that he doesn’t expect your relationship to expand beyond the bedroom.
You don’t go on any interesting dates
No concerts, no outdoor activities, no weekend trips, just a drink or two at the bar then straight to the bedroom. If this sounds like your dating life with the guy you’re seeing, it’s likely because he doesn’t want to share any activities with you other than sex. A guy who is serious about dating you will enjoy all kinds of activities with you.
You don’t have any deep, intimate conversations
Talks about your passions, your beliefs, and your life aspirations are a great way to bond with your significant other. These sorts of conversations are rare and special, and require a certain amount of trust in the relationship before both people are comfortable sharing such personal information. A man who’s just after sex will have no interest in sharing such experiences and most likely keep the conversation shallow and focused on fun and sex.
His friends are against commitment
Men like to associate with other men who have similar goals and lifestyles. This mean that men who are looking for lots of casual sex with women will likely associate with other men looking for the same. If you notice his friends seem like the commitment-averse type, it probably means your guy is the same. Don’t expect any commitment from him beyond casual sex.