If you’re single and living in a major metropolitan area, you’ve probably heard of the dating app called Tinder. If you haven’t heard of it, let me introduce you to the future of dating! Because we all have limited time and are caught up in the hustle and bustle of modern life, dating apps like Tinder are becoming more and more popular. It’s basically the cliff notes version online dating. The app finds other singles in your geographical area and presents potential matches to you based on a few photos. Yes, it sounds a bit superficial to choose someone based on a photo, but let’s face it, whether virtually or in person, we assess other singles based on their looks. If someone’s photo catches your eye, you click on the ‘heart’ icon or swipe right. If you aren’t interested in someone’s photo, you click on the ‘x’ icon or swipe left. If both you and your ‘heart’ selections choose each other, you are then permitted to message each other through the app. Here’s where all the potential problems begin! Since it’s the ‘quick service’ option in the world of online dating, it’s easy to consume mindlessly and even recklessly. With any form of dating, it’s important to consciously choose potential love-interests, but since dating apps can present new challenges, here are 8 helpful tips for getting the most out of your dating experience through Tinder.
Here’s 8 Ways To Date Successfully on Tinder
1. Beware of Photo Douchebaggery
Keep douchy photos to a minimum. Remember that with Tinder and dating apps in general, photos are what get you noticed…that can be a positive or negative thing. For example, posting only half naked selfies can make you look like you’re only interested in a hookup. Photos of you with a ton of girls or guys are risky because it could make you seem like you are already involved. Pics of you and a mysterious guy or girl (unless it’s clearly a brother or sister) can be confusing as well. Choose photos that highlight your strengths. I suggest one or two face and shoulders shots and one or two ¾ or head to toe shots of you. Make sure you look happy and approachable in your pics.
2. Play The Numbers
In the beginning, don’t focus on one person. Dating apps are more of a numbers game than online dating and other forms of dating. Because you’re mostly judging someone based on a photo, it’s natural that you’re going to be attracted to a lot of people. Everyone has a lot of options on Tinder which means that your odds of meeting someone interesting are high. This also means that there may be a lot of people who you’ll match up with that you’ll never go on a date or even have a conversation with. But don’t worry, there are plenty of fish…
3. Follow Up After You Match Up
Message those you are interested in in a timely manner. Guys, the chivalry/courtship rules apply in the world of dating apps too. Start a convo with your matches. If your match is interested, she will respond. If she doesn’t respond, she’s not interested or maybe was interested at one point in time, but is currently preoccupied with another suitor. Girls, let the guy pursue you! If you do want to start a convo with your matches, make it brief. The beginning stages of dating, even on an app, set up the power balance in terms of who will be the pursuer in a relationship. Ladies, if you want a guy to take the lead in a new potential relationship, you need to set that up from the beginning. Guys, if you want to take the lead in your relationships, start from the beginning, even while using a dating app.
4. Be Patient
Those who get impatient with you probably have different dating objectives. Being on Tinder should be a fun way to meet other singles. If anyone gets impatient, aggressive, or is rude to you in the early stages, you might want to move on to your next match. On the flip side, try not to get impatient with your matches. Ones that are truly interested will stand out. There’s no need to start drama. Just move on if the interaction isn’t what you’re looking for.
5. Do the ‘Romance Dance’
Remember even though you are meeting people virtually, it’s still important to flirt with your matches and keep them interested. Because there are so many options on Tinder and other dating apps, you have to do something to stand out. Sending regular messages to the matches you are interested in will help to keep you in the mix, get you noticed, and move you to the top of the Tinder heap.
6. Don’t Make Assumptions
Don’t assume that you are the only person that your match is interested in. You don’t know who he or she was talking to before meeting you. Don’t assume that everyone you meet will be looking for a relationship. Also don’t assume that everyone is only using the app to hookup. There will be all kinds of singles looking for all kinds of interactions. Focus on getting to know your matches as individuals and you’ll start to understand what they are looking for and if you are on the same page.
7. Meet Safely
Just like online dating, it’s important to meet in a public place on your first date with your Tinder matches. Since you don’t know much about your match, it’s important to make smart choices especially in the beginning. Don’t get so swept up in the allure of the app that you forget to be safe.
8. Have Fun!
Dating apps like Tinder are supposed to be fun! The minute you start taking it too seriously, it becomes a job. Since Tinder operates through Facebook, you’ll probably recognize friends (or friends of friends) while swiping left and right.
Dating apps are just another way to meet new singles that you haven’t met before. Remember to be smart and safe whether you are dating via app, online dating site, or through a more traditional method. It’s the wave of the future and there are a ton of success stories. You can meet a potential love-interest anywhere and dating apps are just another fun option for singles. Don’t knock it till you try it!
Hugs and love,
Erin Tillman ‘The Dating Advice Girl’
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