I know that other women will disagree with me on this subject. The truth is ladies; most of us are inherently emotional creatures. Biologically we are just built that way. Women are always quick to offer their advice and opinion. Regardless of their experience or expertise, your best girlfriends, co-workers and yes even your mom can have you thinking that their insight is above reproach. Although they mean well and have your best interests at heart (or so you hope), sometimes your “go-to’s” are not the best sounding board for dating advice. When it comes to seeking advice from other women about dating, remember to take a few things into account before acting on their so called seasoned opinion.
- Always trust your gut first. You are your own best sounding board in regard to what you feel or think.
- Consider the source. This is someone who is personally involved in your dating life. They are not exactly impartial.
- Take their opinion as an opinion, not as fact.
- Don’t immediately act on their advice. Consider all sides before you jump the gun.
Who not to ask for advice? “Take it with a grain of salt” is the applicable saying that comes to mind here. The top three types of people to stay away form for advice: (Because we all have a friend or know someone like this).
1. A person who is currently unhappy about themselves or their relationship isn’t the best person to ask for relationship advice.
2. Any person who tends to be jealous or seems to compete with you.
3. The friend who doesn’t truly understand who you are and what you are looking for in a relationship.
Who you should go to first: It should go without saying, but I will say it anyway. The person you are actually in that relationship with is the first person you should go to. Communication is the foundation and often the cure for issues in relationships. Firstly, this is a sign of respect for your partner. It shows that you are invested in the relationship seriously. Whenever possible (I say always) take your emotions out of the equation and express where you are coming from, and what’s going on in your mind and heart. This is an exercise in trust and respect, and will strengthen your relationship.
Most often there are a few hot topics when it comes to unsolicited advice.
Don’t sleep with him right away- Your private parts= your decision. Only you and your current partner know what’s right for your relationship at any given time.
Dump him! Why? Based on her say so? Not only does she not know the intimate details of the relationship to make such a judgment call, you will appear to be easily controlled by her. That’s a huge deal breaker for a lot of men.
Follow the rules. I say fuck the rules! Who defines these so-called rules anyway? In actuality rules is just a way to class up the word ‘games’. Case in point- If you’re interested in him, it’s okay to be the first one to reach out. If you had a great time on a first date, let him know. Don’t be the girl that sends 47 texts the next day, but say ‘thank you’ and express that you would like to see him again. Bam! Cards laid out. Either he deals himself in or out. The easy and simplest way to avoid all of the bullshit is to be your authentic self, speak the truth and follow the flow of the relationship, as opposed to ‘rules’. Know what you want, what your deal breakers are and tell your friends to butt out until you solicit their advice.