The Art of Sexting by @UrbanDating101

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I’m a Rules girl.  The Rules are about turning Mr. Saturday Night into Mr. Happily-Ever-After.   However, just when I’d finished memorizing all the Rules for catching a husband, the world of technology had me confused again.  But, you can learn from my mistakes.  If you want to move beyond saying “I don’t know what happened? Things were going so well!”, grab a pen and a glass of your favourite chardonnay and start taking notes.  These Rules are for you!

The Art of Sexting

It’s really quite easy, don’t do it! If you think the way to a man’s heart is to send nude photos of you, then bend over and say cheese.  But that’s a big mistake if you want this guy to turn into your future husband.  I guarantee that a relationship that uses sexting to keep things hot will fizzle out in 3-6 months when he bores of you and you end up with a lot of awkward, nude photos and questions as to where things went wrong.

The risks of sending boudoir photos go far beyond simply being disappointed when you eventually get dumped.  Unfortunately, you most likely won’t have access to the “Clear History” button on your beau’s mobile.  ItThe Art of Sexting doesn’t matter how crazy you are about each other at the time, pick a different memento to keep. You DON’T want the online world flooded with pics of your genitals for all eternity. Not wify material.

Your sexy texts after 9 raspberry mojitos might seem endearing to you in the moment, but more likely than not they will probably be hysterical to the recipient.  And, we all know what we do with funny pictures.   We share them with our friends.  So, if you’ve had one too many glasses of bubbly and suddenly feel the urge to send a photo of your breasts just to say, “Hey babe, I wish you were sleeping in between these.”  DON’T.  While he may be aroused initially, you will have started a trend that causes men to quickly lose respect and lose interest.  It may be fun and flirty at first, but later he will wonder how many other people you have been doing this with.  Keep the excitement and sexual tension going by waiting to show him in person.  He will appreciate that much more.

Some basic Rules around texting in general I would like to share:

Just because a man does not call or text you back does not give you permission to text him 3 more times or call him to make sure he got your last message.  All that is demonstrating is that you are psychotic and emotionally needy, neither of which are sexy or wife material.  Take a deep breath and PUT THE PHONE DOWN!

If you are between the ages of 26 and 30, wait 2 hours before you respond to a text in order to catch his attention.  Why?  Keeping an air of mystery about you is key.  Plus… you are busy! Right?

If you are over 31, wait at least three to four hours. Remember…. You COULD have important meetings, a successful career, drinks with friends after work, fitness classes and a whole social life to attend to.  He doesn’t need to know you are curled up on your couch petting one of your dog. Men are natural hunters so let them pursue you. It’s far more gratifying for both parties.

When a guy doesn’t text a woman right away, the first thing many of us do is make excuses.  Have you ever caught yourself saying any of the following?  “He’s just really busy.”, “He must be out of cell range.”, “He’s probably having dinner with the guys.”, “I think he’s traveling for work.”, “He’s really stressed right now.”, “School is keeping him busy.”  Stop being delusional.  If he wanted to contact you, he will.  The reality is… you’re just not a priority for him.  So take the power back by FOLLOWING THE RULES!

Dress Code Basics for any Rules Girl

It’s easy… if your Grandmother would wear it, then you need to march right back into your closet and change.  I’m not suggesting that your wardrobe tags should read “Floosy”, but it IS important to show that you are confident and sexy. This can be achieved by keeping these 5 basics in your wardrobe (and a little cleavage):

1.  Black heels.  Not the kind that indicates knowing how to use a pole is a requirement of your job.

2.  A simple black cocktail dress or skirt above the knee.

3.  Medium sized hoop earrings.

4.  Some blush, mascara and bronzer.  Plus a spritz of your favourite perfume.

5.  A smart, to the knee or slightly above, black or camel colored coat.  Classy.  Just like you.

These are basics any Rules girl should have in their wardrobe. They can really take you anywhere.  But remember, the sexiest thing a woman can wear is CONFIDENCE!

It`s not complicated.  If you want to be someone`s wife and mother to their children, act like one.  It IS possible to still be alluring and sexy while retaining your dignity and commanding respect.  If you are sick of being single or treated like a booty call, get to know the Rules!

Urban Dating 101

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Samia Massoud is a happily engaged, former serial dater residing in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Samia has received extensive training from Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, co-authors of the New York Time best selling book, The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. Samia is the only approved `Rules` dating and relationship coach in Canada and is excited to bring the knowledge gained through her own dating trials and tribulations to relationship challenged women. “I’m not a match maker and I’m not a dating site. I teach the modern women the do’s and don’ts of a successful relationship whether your dating, married or newly single” “After being married, divorced and happy engaged again, I am a true Rules girl through and through. The Rules work!” Drawing from personal experience and her comprehensive training, Samia teaches a series of techniques, strategies and the Rules of dating that will provide you with the greatest ROD (Return on Dating) ultimately resulting in a lasting relationship with a man who loves, respects and adores you. You can find out more about Samia on her website: Urban Dating 101


  • February 26, 2014

    Social Attraction

    I agree that waiting a specific 2-3 hours to reply to a text does build mystery, however checking the time and thinking about it for that period isn’t healthy either. I prefer the strategy of texting back when you are free, so if you are at work text back in your break, if you are busy in your break text back after work. Do not interrupt what you are doing to send a message …it’s never that important.

  • February 26, 2014

    Lissa Reed

    This is an interesting article. I agree that replying to his text messages as soon as he sends them can sometimes seems needy, but waiting for so many hours or following rules about this is just manipulative. And the fact that you will wait that long to build the mystery does not mean he will turn into Prince Charming. I’d go with honesty. I text back when I’m free and if I’m busy I will text when I can. It’s as simple as that and I never heard anyone running away because I reply too fast.
    However, I do agree with you, confidence is the key!!

  • March 18, 2014


    Way too many rules for me. Just be yourself, enjoy the moment and have fun! No one likes playing games :p x

    • April 22, 2014

      Divorced Kat

      Totally agree! Have fun but use your brain too!

  • April 22, 2014

    Divorced Kat

    Sexting can be done without photos. I have done that and it’s hot. Leaves plenty to the imagination and less risk.