How to Play Hard to Get With A Guy You’ve Already Slept With by @Youngloveorlack

How to Play Hard to Get With A Guy You've Already Slept With
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We’ve all been there. There’s a guy you really like, you end up at the same venue one night, one tequila slammer leads to another and next thing you know, your carefully planned outfit is strewn across the floor of the public bathroom (or something slightly more classy). Question is, now that you’ve slept together, can you still make him want you? If you really like this guy, and want to keep his attention, despite having already done the deed, there are a few key things you can do, and this is exactly how to play hard to get with a guy you’ve already slept with!

In this situation, there unfortunately lies the question: was the sex good? If it wasn’t, you’re going to have a harder time winning him over, or hope he was equally as ‘slammed’ as you were and has little memory of the debacle.

The most important thing is to be inaccessible. Do your utmost not to contact him afterwards. However, don’t leave it so long that he thinks he’s got away with a one night stand! If the ‘3 day rule’ has passed and you’ve still heard nothing, then text him as nonchalantly as you can about something completely unrelated, just to remind him you’re still there. If the sex was good, you can even cheekily hint at what happened, giving him a little reminder.

How to play hard to get with a guy you've already slept with

After the contact

Now that you’ve established contact (or hopefully he has!), this is where you can become unavailable. If you are texting, do NOT reply immediately. The rule is, wait longer to reply than he took. If it was 5 minutes, take 10, if it was 3 hours, take 4 and so on. Whilst conversing, it’s important to let him know that he is not the only person in your life, romantically or otherwise. How to play hard to get with a guy you’ve already slept with? Such excuses as ‘I’m seeing someone tonight’, or ‘I’m out to dinner/the movies/another classic date activity’ simply scream: I’ve got a social life, it probably involves other men, mainly not you. If he follows you on any social media, you can also use this to your advantage. Now is the time to go out and have a great time, not only will it drive him crazy, but you’ll be having fun. Everybody wins!

At this point, he will probably have made an attempt to see you again, and, although you’ve been incredibly vague, cancelling last minute, being extraordinarily busy etc., the whole point is you want to see him again. When you do, you need to look GOOD. This is the moment to wear that gorgeous new dress, pair of shoes, sexy shade of lipstick. Engage him in intelligent conversation, be funny, charming, yet with an element of mystery. Haven’t told him that you’re a brilliant rock-climber or saxophone player? These kind of surprises will keep on his toes and leave him wanting more. He’ll be dying to sleep with you all over again. And THAT, ladies, is how to play hard to get with a guy you’ve already slept with.

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A 19 year old Brit who likes to pretend she understands the ins and outs of the dating world, only to discover every time that she hasn’t got a clue.


  • February 17, 2014

    Social Attraction

    I like this article although I would say that leaving it a specific period of time isn’t the greatest strategy. It’s a much better idea to text someone back when you are generally free, this includes texting your friends back. So if you are at work text back in your break, if you are busy in your break then text back after work. Do not interrupt what you are doing to text anyone …it’s never that important!!

    This was you are framing your relationship on your own terms.

  • March 19, 2014


    This advice is completely misguided. You seem to be projecting a lot of female perspectives on sex and dating onto men, and assuming they think about things the same way. So here’s some actual perspective from– surprise!– a man.

    If I’ve already slept with a girl and decide I want to hang out with her again, what will be the BIGGEST turnoff to me is her playing “games” or “hard-to-get.” These behaviors represent all sorts of personality red flags. When a girl is emotionally well-balanced, she wears her heart on her sleeve and puts herself on the line for the man she’s attracted to (for better or worse).

    Also– men don’t really care about “good sex.” That is a type of judgment that only women make on men, since men are the ones actually performing. Women’s role in sex is passive, but men can still enjoy different sexual experiences more than others– mostly due to the female’s attractiveness, femininity, and perhaps her sexuality (how “into” the sex she is).

    For a man, a “weird” or “bad” sexual experience with a girl doesn’t affect his future desire to sleep with her again, as long as she’s hot. For a woman, bad sex is a dealbreaker.

    Reminding a guy about the “good sex” you had is far less effective than reminding him about the “good breasts” or “good butt” you have, by sending him a pic.

    Save this type of “Game” advice for men, who can actually apply it effectively.

    • March 20, 2014


      Thanks for the comment, although I think your argument is a little one sided! I know lots of women who’ve used these little tricks, including myself, with good results. I also don’t agree that women are passive during sex, or only men can apply effective ‘game’ strategies, these are very sweeping statements to be making! I’m not sure most men would agree that how a woman looks is the main factor of enjoyable sex either. I appreciate the response, but we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one!

  • March 20, 2014


    Note: This only works on the more clueless and desperate guys. Guys with options never put up with the lame ‘hard-to-get’ dramatics you’re trying to play and see right through the games. Nice try though.

    • March 20, 2014


      I’ve known some guys considered pretty highly by most, even players, who’ve succumbed to a little hard-to-get game. At this early stage of the relationship most guys don’t want girls to appear clingy, so by giving him space it allows him to want you!

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