Being single is not anything more than being an attractive, intelligent, funny woman who has yet to find an attractive, intelligent, funny man who is worthy of taking you off the market.
So while we’re floating in the single girl abyss there are some things to remember, eight things actually, enjoy.
Single Girl Nugget #1
Learning to love your own company is invaluable. Being single is not the equivalent of a time out and doesn’t earn a certain number of daily lashings. In other words, stop punishing yourself. Be an unconditional friend to yourself! Novel idea, huh? Why not treat yourself as you treat your best friend instead. Cut yourself some slack girl!
Single Girl Nugget #2
People will impose their ideas about relationships upon you, try to ignore them. The toughest critics of you (after yourself) are going to be other people. Their criticisms will range from asking why you aren’t dating to attempts of forcing a single man they know upon you. Which I wouldn’t mind depending on how appealing said man is on paper, because attraction and chemistry either happens or it doesn’t. The best thing to do here is put their asses on mute and embrace all the perks singledom affords you.
Single Girl Nugget #3
It’s out of your control. When, where and how you meet Mr. Right is not anything you have control over! I wouldn’t mind peeking into a magic 8 ball and seeing my future self happily coupled, but I suppose that takes the fun out of it. Did you know one of my 2014 dating goals is to make dating fun? The sooner you accept it’s going to happen rather than when it happens, the sooner you can focus on enjoying life and having fun!
Single Girl Nugget #4
You’re going to go through phases. You’re going to go from being gung-ho about dating and regularly scrolling through potential suitors to the complete opposite. One day you’re going to be sick of it all, AKA experience dating fatigue. The light at the end of the tunnel is the day you just accept it, enjoy your hiatus from dating and treat yourself really, really good. Just like that you’ll meet a cool guy and the cycle will start all over again! Whatever phase you’re going through, own it.
Single Girl Nugget #5
When something is right there is nothing you can do to screw it up. Right is right. Wrong is wrong. I’m officially done attempting to make the wrong things right. I plan on adding this nugget to my list of single girl mantras! A girl can never have too many positive things to say to herself.
Single Girl Nugget #6
PAFU. Which stands for People Are Fucked Up. This isn’t a negative nugget, it’s a realistic one. People are strange, unique creatures not to be understood, especially when it comes to love and sex. Oh, make sure you include yourself! You didn’t think you were off the hook, did you? As The Frisky puts it, it gives you the strength to “go out on a series of horrible, mortifying dates or be rejected a stupid amount of times and shrug your shoulders and realize that it has nothing to do with you.” Remember PAFU.
Single Girl Nugget #7
Don’t be jealous of coupled people. I have a confession, I’ve been known to eat a peanut butter & jelly sandwiches as I scroll my Facebook timeline and see happy couples, ogle engagement announcements and dissect wedding photos. Love doesn’t take an eraser to your life’s problems, instead, it puts another person all up in your face to hold you accountable. How about we be as happy for them as we want them to be for us when it’s our turn, because it is coming!
Single Girl Nugget #8
Patience. Some days you might think you’ve taken as much as you can and consider joining a convent. I have, but they don’t want me and until you find one that will accept you, bad dates, breakups and disappointments are par for the course. They are literally unavoidable and there’s no denying the hurt they cause in the moment, but give it a little time and you’ll see it for what it was. Imagine the day you’ll want to thank Cupid himself when your better-than-you-imagined Mr. Right shows up.
The good news (and yes there’s good news) is “love is a mystery that you can’t harness or control or elicit or will. Accept that it’s a mystery and sit down, shut up, enjoy your freaking life and patiently wait your turn.
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