Dear Santa, Boyfriend Edition By @DoomedSingleB

dear santa boyfriend edition
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boyfriendDear Santa, It’s the time of year when it is totally acceptable to either drink yourself out of a relationship or into one.  In my mind, most things work both ways.  For you.  Against you.  The common denominator of that breakdown is YOU!  If you’re single and find yourself having to choke back your own vomit when being inundated with examples of loving gift giving, welcome to the fold. The good news is that, even as the bitterest of bitches, I too have family and friends, some of which I even love enough to brave a store for a gift.  It’s here, where we’re going to use this moment to potentially find a man!  I’ve scooped into the line for Santa’s knee and I’ve sat on his lap as an adult and let’s just say he can get a little hands-on.  Hey, I’m not complaining or talking mess about a man who makes so many happy – I’m just stating the facts. There’s one place I’ve yet to pick up a man, let’s see…post office, check.  Gas station, check.  Bar, check.  Holiday shopping? No, but thanks to Glamour magazine that’s going to change!  How to Pick up a Guy Holiday Shopping, the dos, the don’ts & the just for good measure! 

DO: Ask for help choosing the right size sweater for your brother.  Just hold that sweater up to his chest and tell him how great it’s going to fit your brother.

DON’T: Ask him to tell you what 20% off a pair of jeans is.  I’m awful at math this that’s why we have calculators on our phones.  There’s nothing attractive about dumbing yourself down!

DO: Strike up a convo in a long line.  Waiting in line is boring until he starts talking to you!  Chat him up and you could be exchanging info at the checkout.

DON’T: Ask him an over the top question in the unisex changing room.  Can we say creepy?  Also, how have I lived thirty years and never partaken in one of these?  Life just isn’t fair. 

DO: See if he wants to grab a coffee to talk about where the best deals for electronics are.

DON’T: Invite him to a family function.  That’s a perk of commitment.  Get the commitment first!

DO: Offer subtle advice at the perfume counter by talking up your favorite scent.  Let’s cross our fingers he’s making the purchase for his mom and not his girlfriend.

DON’T: Hand him a pair of boxers and say, “You’d look great in these”.  Too much, too soon.  Remember BOYFRIEND, not hookup!  Easy girl. With just days to Christmas why not use a shopping excursion to your full benefit?  I mean New Years’ Eve is just around the corner and what better a night for a first date then one with a kiss built right in! Signed the girl who’s not above leaving out a plate of cookies in hopes of waking up to a boyfriend! XO

If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try Singles Warehouse today!

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V.V. Browne is a thirty something single broad telling her single girl story. She's bitter, sarcastic & waiting for her Mr. Right. My way of giving advice is to tell you what I did, why I probably shouldn't have done it & hope that as your reading your laughing with me and not at me. I just want to figure "this" out. This being living life as a happy single woman. Not just for appearances but like for real. Let's show the world that being single isn't a death sentence, XO

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