Always Take The Shot! by @DontKillYourDat

Always take the shot
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Always take the shot

The more I write, the more I see that there are so many people out there that are afraid of each other. Scared of what others may think about us, what they may tell others, or even what they might do to us. It is time for us to take back control of our lives! Now that we are being watched 24/7 through the internet, street cameras, and everyone and their dog having a smartphone to capture us picking our nose and/or butts (preferably in that order) and immediately posting it on YouTube or Facebook for everyone to see, thus making us an internet laughingstock. The sad part is, beyond becoming a complete backwoods Luddite, there is almost nothing you can do about it.

So what are we supposed to do in order to stay off the world’s embarrassment radars? Well, I say, not a damned thing! Live your life immune to the barbs and arrows that will undoubtedly be thrown your way, especially if you attempt to rise above the underachieving masses. Yes, I am saying you should WANT to be the 1%! (I mean, really, why is it that so few guys seem to be getting all the hot women out there?!?) And by reading this article you are already on your way, as you are attempting to better yourselves, a firm component to improvement! So besides this initial action of betterment, how do we improve our chances in life and love? One way is to…

Always Take The Shot!

Have you ever heard the story of the crabs in the bucket? It goes like this: A father and his son were walking along the beach collecting crabs for a big cookout. As they gathered, the crabs started to reach close to the top of the bucket. The son said,” Dad, the crabs are almost to the top, won’t they get out?” The father replied, “Son, these crabs are a lot like people. Watch. When one starts to reach for the top, the other crabs will see it and attempt to latch on and drag the one reaching for freedom, back down into the bucket.” As the son watched, the crabs did exactly that. They were so close to the top, but when one attempted to “lead,” he was pulled back to the herd of infinitely mediocre crabs destined for the fire.

Sound pessimistic? Look around you. As soon as someone “Makes it,” suddenly they are trashed by every tabloid known to man. People gossip incessantly over things of which they have absolutely zero knowledge. Why? Herd mentality. If someone hasn’t “made it,” why should anyone else? Claw! Claw! And that is the mentality that will kill your success in life and especially in the world of dating!

This disposition ensures that you will fail to see the opportunities right in front of you! After all, if all you ever do is fail because everyone else is doing so great, why give it a try? When you see life through the eyes of “victimhood,” you are doomed to fail. You will think to yourself all the reasons why hitting on that cute girl, going in for a kiss, or sweeping her off her feet and whisking her away to the bedroom will bomb miserably. Claw! Claw! So, let’s fix this crap and turn that frown upside down, mister!

bookstore150As I said, you are already on your way to making your love life a success; you are searching and improving to better yourself and your lot in life. Next step is to realize that yes, indeed, you will fail. Others will talk about you, women will reject you, and you will feel defeated. And these are all GOOD things. If you have not attempted, you cannot fail. You went over there, chatted her up, said the wrong things, she hates you. Claw! Claw! GOOD FOR YOU! Because you TRIED! Reach! Reach! Had you given in to your own self-doubt based on what other people who do not know nor care about you in the slightest, you would have failed. But you did not! You went in and made the attempt. Reach! Reach! You are already a winner. You did what the other 99% usually will not. But here is where it gets really good for you. Do it again! Different girl though, trust me. So it didn’t work the first time and you failed. But did you really? You would have only failed had you not attempted.

If you do not try, you have a 100% chance that you will fail.

Thomas Edison was asked once how he felt about failing 1000 times to invent a light bulb. He said that he had not failed at all; he had just found a thousand ways to not make a light bulb. What if he had quit on the 1000th try? What if the crab that really wanted out of that bucket had not tried again and again, until he finally figured out that he had to turn around and bitch slap the other crabs bringing him down?

Remember, every good relationship, or saucy night spent in wild abandon, took an effort. You had to say something, do something, get out of the house, or make a move. Don’t let that be the only time it ever happens. The world is an amazing place full of amazing and sexy encounters for us all, if we only make the effort. So don’t let a world full of crabby assholes bring you down. Keep trying, never give up, and become all that you really and truly can be! Reach! Reach!



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The “Dating Sage,” Spike Spencer, is an internationally known public speaker, actor, voice over talent, and a Foodie of the first magnitude. He is also a self-published author, with thousands of books sold. For the past 6 years, Spike has been speaking in his humorous “Don’t Kill Your Date (and Other Cooking Tips)” panel at conventions around the world. Thousands have enjoyed his talks about dating, relationships, and “being a man,” using cooking, adventure, and self improvement as his mediums. At some of these appearances, Spike actually cooks for the crowd. Spike is currently in production on the TV pilot of his "Don't Kill Your Date (and Other Cooking Tips)" cooking/dating talk show, and writing the companion book, of the same title. The DKYD concept derives from a very real desire to help guys become better MEN, spurred by Spike’s own personal story of divorce tragedy, bankruptcy, love lost, and re-emergence into the dating world. Through Spike’s “field research” - dating triumphs and tragedies, crazy experiences, PUA studies, and learning to really listen to women and build a strong successful relationship- Spike is the straight guy women can count on to help them translate their needs to their men. Spike uses cooking, a very real and popular way to expand a man’s arsenal of desirable traits, to help men attract the woman of their dreams, just like Spike has done!

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