You did everything to meet someone and found a person you really like and get along with. You went out on many dates. The relationship is new and you are really getting along and think this could be the one. And then, he asks you to move in; but it’s only been 3 months. What do you do? You are really into the relationship and are flattered. You don’t want to hurt his feelings and this could all be a good thing! All of these thoughts race through your mind and before you know it, you open your mouth and say, “Yes”. And before you know it you are sharing every moment and living space.
Are You Moving In Too Soon?
Six months later, you are wondering if this was a good decision. Perhaps you feel trapped and he does things to annoy you and it has you thinking that you might have jumped the gun a bit too soon. You then question if you are only staying because you are feeling comfortable or maybe just because it is a help financially. It is important to filter your voice and know how you are really feeling and what feelings are based on fear because maybe you are getting what you have prayed for all along and it scares you. Know the difference.
A relationship takes time to grow. It has to be nurtured with love, honesty, communication, romance, respect and trust but this takes time. It does not happen overnight. Attraction and desire and acting on it tend, many times, to put the relationship on a level that is not really commensurate with where you are emotionally. If you rush any process, you short change yourself and don’t give yourself the time to really figure out if this person and the relationship is what you want.
Don’t Move In For The Wrong Reasons[quote align=”right” color=”#999999″]If you rush any process, you short change yourself and don’t give yourself the time to really figure out if this person and the relationship is what you want.[/quote]I tend to be conservative and don’t support living together before marriage. I have friends who advise their children to NOT marry anyone they have not lived with on a 24/7 basis for some time so as to get to really know them.
If you are moving in for companionship, because you want help with expenses, because this is the best option that has come along in a while or because you just fell into it, and it is not based on the right reasons of love and wanting a lifelong commitment, then you are moving in too soon. If this is the person who you want to walk down the aisle with and start a married life with and have children, then moving in can be one part of that process.
Again, be honest with yourself with how you feel and why you are doing something. Listen to your heart!
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