To Be Clear, This Is A Date by @DontKillYourDat

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dateFellas, I am going to save you a lot of time and a lot of headache.  When you are interested in getting to know a woman better, don’t be wishy-washy about it.  If you want to ask her out on a date, then do it!  Be clear about your intentions from the start.  Trust me, she already knows what you want, so there is no need for obfuscation here.   And this is where most men screw it up, right at the beginning.

If, for some reason, you are tentative about asking a woman out, being indecisive will definitely not make it easy on you.  When you make a half-assed attempt, she will reject you quickly and painfully, leaving you with plenty of free time to wonder what the Hell happened.  So be straight forward, no games.  Just ask her out for coffee, to your place for dinner, or to go skydiving, whatever.  But don’t be ambiguous about it, let her know what you expect.  Don’t leave any doubt in her mind, or you are just wasting each other’s time.  If she seems nebulous as to your design, you may have to be blunt and say…

To Be Clear, This Is A Date.

bookstore150She needs to know that you are interested in her in THAT way.  There are many times, especially in relationship-heavy show business, where you will meet with a gorgeous woman you are interested in and you think you have been clear about your aims, only to find that she wants to discuss your business marketing techniques or to “pick your brain”.  When she walks into your place with pen in hand, ready to take copious notes, and finds candles, soft music, and wine waiting for her, that is, in a word, awkward.  It’s not her fault, it’s yours.  You were not solid with your invite, so she was unsure as to exactly what you expected.  She went to the “friendzone” or business associate default setting and now you are pals.  And, yes, that sucks.  So, making your intentions known is a winner from the very start.

Just because you’ve asked her out, she knows it’s a date and she accepts, there is no guarantee that anything saucy is going to happen, of course.  You could screw it up or she could be crazy; the list of things that can go wrong is infinite, but at least you have started off on the right foot.  So now you have something to build upon.  Regardless of what happens, you are making inroads and allowing the possibility of a great relationship to blossom.  And since you both know it is a date, flirting is not considered creepy and unwarranted, like that one Aunt who always plants a slobbery wet kiss smack dab on your lips. Eeeeeeshk.

By being clear and to the point, you are demonstrating a leadership mentality.  Leadership, shows confidence, and confidence is sexy. You made a decision.  We men, as a whole, seem to have lost the ability to be strong minded.  We leave far too much to the discretion of others.  We text instead of call, we live with our parents far far too long, we ask to “hang out” instead of going on “a date”.

I say, enough!  Man up dammit!

Let Her Know You Like Her The Way A MAN Likes A Woman.

No matter whether it’s for coffee, or it’s a quiet romantic dinner for two at home, the romantic seed has been planted and great things can be in store for the both of you if you let them.  Don’t be let down if things don’t get sexy right away.  Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t.  Either way, you have a beautiful lady sitting with you, (not the thousands of other guys she could be with) enjoying lovely conversation, and relishing the possibilities because you were MAN enough to let her know that you wanted to date her.

I can pretty much guarantee that by being straight forward and honest (in a friendly and cool way of course), you will put yourself ahead of about 90% of all the guys out there who either never get the nerve to ask, or come off as raging egotistical douches.  I can also guarantee that if you do not ask her out, you have a 100% chance of not going out with her.  It’s just simple math…

Go On, Be Strong

Spike Spencer, the Dating Sage

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The “Dating Sage,” Spike Spencer, is an internationally known public speaker, actor, voice over talent, and a Foodie of the first magnitude. He is also a self-published author, with thousands of books sold. For the past 6 years, Spike has been speaking in his humorous “Don’t Kill Your Date (and Other Cooking Tips)” panel at conventions around the world. Thousands have enjoyed his talks about dating, relationships, and “being a man,” using cooking, adventure, and self improvement as his mediums. At some of these appearances, Spike actually cooks for the crowd. Spike is currently in production on the TV pilot of his "Don't Kill Your Date (and Other Cooking Tips)" cooking/dating talk show, and writing the companion book, of the same title. The DKYD concept derives from a very real desire to help guys become better MEN, spurred by Spike’s own personal story of divorce tragedy, bankruptcy, love lost, and re-emergence into the dating world. Through Spike’s “field research” - dating triumphs and tragedies, crazy experiences, PUA studies, and learning to really listen to women and build a strong successful relationship- Spike is the straight guy women can count on to help them translate their needs to their men. Spike uses cooking, a very real and popular way to expand a man’s arsenal of desirable traits, to help men attract the woman of their dreams, just like Spike has done!

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