Listening to my 65-year-old, single mother talk about finding love, and sharing the first dance at her wedding, warms my heart and breaks it at the same time. It makes me realize that everyone, no matter what age, deeply longs for a fairytale romance. Every month, over a million people search Google for the words: How can I find a good man?
So where are all these Rhett Butlers and Mr. Darcys to save the heaps of lonely, female hearts that wander the Earth? They are out there, I promise! Here are a few things you can do to land yourself a great guy, fast!
How Can I Find A Good Man? Have Faith In Love
Most of us are easily defeated. Success is a discipline. It’s a numbers game. My grandfather sold insurance and by the phone on his desk he had a cartoon picture of a beat-up and bloody tomcat howling on a fence post. The caption read, “The calls bring the results.” Catcalls invite catfights but they also reel in the female pusses!
You have to get bloody and beat-up a little on the dating scene in order to find Him, and only with FAITH comes perseverance. So find a way to trust in love, even before asking: How can I find a good man?
How Can I Find A Good Man? Redefine Your Definition Of ‘Good’
A smart woman knows that when she asks, How can I find a good man, she actually means, How can I find a good relationship. She knows that ‘good’ means decent more than desirable.
We all know that lust will bite you in the butt, yet so many of us can’t help but lust after the same type of emotionally unavailable man over and over again, replaying the same toxic relationship patterns.
Stop looking for a man who pushes your buttons and start looking for a guy who pushes open doors on dates! I promise that a nice, safe and loving man has the power to make you VERY attracted to him over time. It happened to me, and the kind of chemistry and intimacy that resulted from my ‘thinking smart’ are so much more sacred than any chemical high I got from first-date sparks with Don Drapers of the world.
How Can I Find A Good Man? Be A Good Woman
Take out a piece of paper and a pen. Write down a candid list of your flaws. Go ahead– be honest with yourself.
If it helps, here’s my list:
I’m needy, chronically angry and sad, impatient and bossy…just to name a few.
Well, guess what? All these negative traits are the exact traits I once found in the toxic men I dated. In fact, the more needy, angry, sad, impatient and bossy a man was, the more I fell in love. Maybe you’re like I was—attracting men who share your “pain body.” Chemistry is often times about how well our dark sides dance together.
If you’ve had a rocky past with men, it’s time to own your flaws. I now accept these aspects of myself and allow them to coexist with my strengths. Because I’m not ashamed or afraid of them, they don’t own me. I am no longer ‘plugged into’ toxic men, subconsciously seeking out a darker version of myself.
Check out my eBook, Red Rose Woman; The Enchantress Inside You, and get more answers to the question: How can I find a good man? Its pages are chock-full of my modern-goddess dating tips! Finding Mr. Right starts with knowing, deep in your heart, that you are worthy of being someone’s Mrs. Right!