Is being yourself sometimes too much? by @52firstdatesto

being yourself
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being yourselfI’ve been told I’m the “life of the party”.  I have a great “zest for life” and I’m “soooo funny”.  Sounds awesome, right?  Sure, they are all great compliments… but when have you ever heard a man say his ideal woman was one that dances the hardest, sings the loudest at karaoke, or takes over group conversation with her inappropriate jokes and embellished storytelling?  Yeah.  Just the woman a man is looking for… someone just like him.  The point is, being the life of the party often doesn’t do you much good when it comes to finding true love.  You might get laid, but seriously considering dating a female comedian often isn’t an option for men.  In other words, being myself sometimes sucks.  I can’t help but wonder… is being yourself sometimes too much?

What Men Are Really Looking For In A Woman

I’ve asked many men what exactly they are looking for in a woman.  Here are some of their top answers (not including physical traits):

“Someone who can carry a conversation.”

“Someone who can make me laugh.”

“Someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.”

“Good morals and values.”

“Someone who is serious about their career.”

So, basically I’m the perfect candidate?  Alas, I’m not.   Men are looking for their best friend, just like women, right?  The problem is that I end up actually being their best friend… and not their soul mate.  Not too many men want to date themselves, I guess.  I know about sports, so sue me.  I can keep up with sarcastic banter and I can keep up with the same amounts of beer as you can.  Does this make me a terrible candidate for a wife?

bookstore150The other day I was out on my second date with a very solid could-be boyfriend material that we will name The B.C. Man.  He and I had already spent three hours on a patio, drinking beer, having great conversation, laughing, etc.  I felt super comfortable but I was starting to sense the “friend zone” creep in.  So I excused myself from the table and went to the bathroom to regroup.  I had an inner chat with myself to be more ‘feminine’, more inquisitive about subjects I already knew the answers to (like sports), essentially act more like a ditz.  So I did that.  I came back and ask him about his rugby experience.

“So, like, I’ve never watched a rugby game before (lies), I’m not sure about the rules of the game (more lies), tell me more about it.”

The fact that I had to even think about not being myself completely, royally pissed me off.  But from previous experience, being me just hasn’t worked out.  Some say, I just haven’t found “the one” yet who will accept me for who I really am.  Others say, that I need to find a man “man enough” to handle me.  And some say that I’m “too aggressive” and “too independent”, thus scaring men away.

So Is Being Yourself Sometimes Too Much?

It could be.  And you can go to the washroom and have that mental chat like I did to change who you are, temporarily or permanently. But then again, why would you want to be with a man with whom you have to hide your true colours?  So what if I like to sing at the top of my lungs in the car to 80s music, drop the occasional F-bomb, have an opinion or two, am career driven, own my own condo,  can school you in hockey chat and sometimes like to get drunk during the day.  If you can handle it, call me.

On my date with The B.C. Man, I eventually got bored of my toned-down doppelganger, and resorted back to my eccentric self.  Well, I must have done something right because it warranted a good night kiss and a third date.  Who knows, maybe he’s just looking to get laid by a fun chick or maybe, just maybe he’s found the best friend soul mate he’s always been looking for.  Stay tuned!

La Blonde xx




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