When you reach a crossroad in a relationship by @SoloAt30

when you reach a crossroad in a relationship
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when you reach a crossroad in a relationship

Sometimes the future sneaks up on you sooner than you predicted. You really have two choices when a serendipitous opportunity is right at your fingertips. You can hide your head in the sand like an ostrich, too overwhelmed with anxiety over the unknown to look it in the face —or in reality, sprint away from the situation with fear. Or you can raise your head, unfurl your wings, and trust where the wind will take you after removing the safety net of the well-trodden ground beneath you. When you reach a crossroad in a relationship, are you an ostrich or eagle?

Curiosity Opens a Door

“I wish I hadn’t seen this,” The Warrior Poet said to me over Facebook chat a little more than a week ago. Oh no, I thought to myself. Which blog post has he read now? I hadn’t written anything particularly contentious in a while, I thought, but you never know.

“I found the perfect apartment for us,” he said, “but of course, the timing is a little off.” Barely a month-and-a-half since we’d reunited after our brief break-up, we were still treading lightly when it came to big decisions or taking any next steps forward.

With my curious encouragement, he sent me the link to the ad for the place. I had to agree with him that it did sound perfect for us: A huge second floor to a home, two bedrooms, a “ballroom,” a sizeable kitchen and washer and dryer in the unit, with gardens and a pool outside. It sounded too perfect not to at least check it out, so WP sent off an email.

We tried not to get excited. As awesome and romantic as it was to ponder the joys of creating a new definition of “home” as the place just for us, there was still the looming question:

Are We Jumping the Gun?

Even though we had seriously discussed moving in together before the break-up, we had since established a few prerequisites before we’d actually take the leap. I’d have my license back and an operational car to drive, and I’d have enough income to comfortably pay half the rent and other household expenses. I was still working on getting all of those things in place.

And yet nothing motivates me more than a dream and a deadline. Oh, and the idea of being with my love every single day and of finally taking that next step.

As for the emotional preparedness, being the one who had been broken up with, it was hard at first to believe in the full and open commitment WP was bringing to this new chapter of our relationship. Yet the days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into a month, then two, and finally it was our one-year anniversary.

The morning before we left for our weekend getaway, we went to see the place. The ballroom surrounded by windows was breathtaking. The extra rooms off the bedrooms were a great surprise. The kitchen was big enough for both of us to navigate in without feeling crowded. The grounds were covered in flowers, a mild waterfall flowing over rocks, an above ground pool, and there was room to rebuild a vegetable garden.bookstore150

I couldn’t read WP’s expression during the tour, but afterward we shared our positive impressions. We had been invited to fill out a renter application, but we agreed to think about it for at least a day. We were at a crossroad in our relationship—were we ready to take the next step?

Are You An Ostrich or a Eagle?

After we got to our bed and breakfast in New Hampshire, we were sucked in by the beauty and tranquility of nature. Basking in each other’s company, in awe of how blessed we were to have met and to have been brave enough to come back to each other. We shared our mutual appreciation, marveling at our compatibility and appreciating how we complemented each other. We dreamed out loud about our future.

Soon it became crystal clear that we wanted to go after this place that was perfect for the two of us. However long it took for me to get my life together so that I could move in, we would make it work. If we didn’t get the apartment, that would be our sign that it just wasn’t the right time yet. The next morning we filled out the application online.

That day, we went on a glorious hike. This trail that we expected to only take an hour and a half turned out to be both arduous and visually breathtaking. I was taking photos left and right, and WP was dreaming of going off the beaten path. Once we finally reached the summit, WP said he wanted to feel the sun and the gentle breeze on his skin so he took off his shirt. My sports bra was soaked, so I shyly but bravely bared some skin as well.

Once cooled down, we hugged and then WP decided to check email from his phone. “Well, I guess that’s it then,” he said cryptically, explaining he heard from the prospective landlord.

Immediately suspecting the worst, I shrugged until WP gave a little grin and said, “He said if we want the place, it’s ours!”

We looked at each other, smiled broadly, and tightly embraced. We were ready for this. We are taking a leap together on the wings of love into the fabulous and foreign future.


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At the age of 34, I once again find myself single. This time, I am health-challenged, back home living with my parents, and the only real males I can completely rely on are my father and my cat. In the past, this might have sentenced me straight to spinsterhood. In the year 2012, however, I am Lady Love, serial dating my way through the suburbs until I find the love of a lifetime. Join me on the wild roller-coaster ride of my life’s adventures! Follow me at singleinmy30s.wordpress.com

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