I’m going to relate playing hard to get with the relationship my dog has with squirrels. In this scenario, the woman playing hard to get is the squirrel and the man she is playing this game with is my dog.
My canine pal, Porgy, is a little Jack Russell mix and boy does he love chasing squirrels. He never tires of it, even when the squirrels are far too quick for him, which they usually are. However, one time last spring, Porgy was able to corner a squirrel by a concrete wall. Unable to get away, the li’l fellow just froze up and starred at my boy. Well, Porgy looked at the helpless furry critter, looked back at me, then back at the squirrel, totally perplexed and clueless as to how to proceed. Not actually wanting to hurt the poor thing, he slowly backed up, and the squirrel, seizing the opportunity, darted by him and up a tree.
Porgy was on the hunt once more! He went right back to chasing the nervous rodent to the tree, jumping up and down at the base of its trunk with excitement, as if he had no idea that he had been so close to the prize and didn’t go after it when he had the opportunity.
Playing Hard To Get Gets You The Wrong Type Of Guy
Playing hard to get will get you a man like my Jack Russell mix; playing hard to get will attract the emotionally unavailable guys who prefer to chase women than to get close to them—the kind of guys who are clueless about intimacy.
Instead of playing games and wasting time with men who only want you when you are mysterious and are prioritizing everything BUT them, be, what I call, “easy to lose.”
Don’t hide who you are with a man; don’t pretend to be busy when you aren’t; don’t make him guess if you like him. Be open and honest about your feelings for him, your availability and all your flaws. RISK VULNERABILITY!… However, do so with personal boundaries.
Personal Boundaries Make You Sexy & Desirable
When a guy doesn’t respect you and your time, when he doesn’t make you a priority or just acts WAY too “cool” about things—tell him how you feel:
- I feel uncomfortable when a man doesn’t call me for 3 days after a date.
- I feel angry when a guy cancels on me more than once.
- I feel sad when I sleep with a man who I think is wonderful only to get an impersonal text message the next day.
Speak With Confidence Instead of Having The False Confidence That Comes With Playing Hard To Get
Don’t be afraid to lose him. Don’t think that you are being some demanding diva because you voice your boundaries and feelings. Speaking up about how something and/or someone makes you feel is your RIGHT and a good guy wants nothing more than to make you happy.
You don’t have to be dramatic or stay marinating on the subject with him—just speak up, sit on your hands to avoid “pulling” energy and wait for him to speak. If his response isn’t emotionally unavailable to your feelings… next! After all, if he’s treating you like an option now, in the early stages, how’s he going to treat you 30 years into a marriage?
Check out my ebook, Red Rose Woman: The Enchantress Inside You to learn how to be soft, sensual, tender, vulnerable, honest and direct without being sappy and a doormat. Having self-respect and an open heart that doesn’t play hard to get is the killah combo!