Sometimes, when we’re crazy about someone, we can get a little crazy about someone. Days suddenly revolve around them – even when they’re not around. Work seems silly. We get completely distracted. Thoughts dizzy from whatever we’re supposed to be doing right back to that special someone.
We wonder where they are, what they’re doing and what they’re thinking. And that’s when a simple crush can get complicated, even distorted, by our imaginations.
We start imagining what life will be like when we move in together. What neighborhood we’ll live in. How many babies we’ll have. What it will be like to wake up together every morning.
We create an alternate universe where the reality isn’t that we’ve only gone on just one date. In this imaginary world, we’re making wedding plans!
It’s hard not to get swept away when you’ve got a stomach full of butterflies and a heart pumping with possibilities. But if you let your imagination run away with your future, you’re not only going to disappoint yourself, but you’ll come off as more than a little cray cray. Here are some tips to keep the crazy at bay:
Take things one interaction at a time.
On your first date, keep your brain on your first date. Don’t jump ahead to the tropical vacation you’ll take together next year. Just enjoy the conversation and getting to know your date.
Don’t get too familiar too fast.
Nothing is scarier than a person who comes on too strong. Just because you imagine you and your date riding off into the sunset together, your date is still traveling in real time. So don’t scare him or her with too much physical contact or by calling him or her “lovemuffin” before the main course arrives.
Use the “One for One” communication rule.
Every point of contact deserves a response. So if that special someone calls you, call back. If they text, text back. And if you call or text, wait for a response before you do it again. Overzealous texting or calling can be a huge turn off.
Who doesn’t want to enjoy a glass of wine with your BFF and discuss “what he meant by that”? Or why he did or didn’t call. It’s fun. But the danger is, in doing that, we start making up stories like, “Well maybe he didn’t call because he was working late.” Or, “Maybe he got sick.” Or “Maybe he thought I meant next Friday.”
You can analyze all you want, but the bottom line is that people will show you who they are and what they are feeling. If someone is into you, he’ll call. If he wants to see you, he’ll do what it takes to get to you.
Meanwhile, you need to stay realistic about what is and isn’t happening. Just enjoy the process of dating. And the next time you feel yourself falling hard, remember to follow these tips and keep your imagination in check.
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