Dating can be exciting. Meeting someone new is full of possibilities, but there’s also a lot at stake. Emotions can run high, scrambling up thoughts like, “What if this date is the one? How will I know? Will I be able to tell? Will I mess it up?”
Before you wreck your romantic life with manic feelings, it’s important to keep cool. Here are some tips to maintain confidence and logic while dating.
Remember, your date is as nervous as you are.
This is really important – especially during first dates. If your date seems nervous, it’s probably because he or she is nervous. People tend to mirror each other, so lighten the mood with your body language. Are your shoulders brick stiff? Are you looking everywhere but at your date? Did you leave your smile at home? If so, loosen your demeanor. Relax your shoulders, make eye contact and smile. Be open to conversation and a delightful experience and hopefully your date will respond in kind.
Focus on whether or not you like your date.
Since we’re conditioned to seek approval, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of worrying about whether or not the person you’re dating likes you. You may find yourself wondering through the entire date, “Does he think I’m pretty enough?” Or “Does she like me?”Instead of focusing on whether or not your date likes you, keep cool by deciding whether or not you like your date.
Listening well can tell you so much about whether your date is a good person, how smart he or she is and how your date treats other people. All of these factors will be important when it comes to deciding if you want to continue dating that person.
But if we spend every encounter worrying about how we look or if we’re saying the right things or if that person will like us, we miss valuable information. So, focus on your date.
It’s not personal, even though it feels like it is.
This can be hard to swallow, but it’s true. Dating is a fun way to narrow to one person who is a good match for you. So, if along the way, you meet people who aren’t the right match, it doesn’t mean they aren’t good people or that there’s something wrong with them. It just means they’re not the right person for you.
This is important to remember when it comes to rejection. If you feel like sparks flew on a date but you never hear from that person again, keep cool. Don’t freak out over the rejection. Just think about the nice people you’ve dated who were not the exact right fit for you and know that your date felt a similar way. Then keep in mind that rejection is part of the process of narrowing down to that special person and that you’re only getting closer.
Remember your logical needs.
When chemistry explodes and you and the person you’re dating are riding that “I can’t keep my hands off you for a minute” wave, remember that eventually that wave might crash. You don’t want to end up standing on solid ground with someone who is magical in the bedroom and a disaster in every other area of life.
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t enjoy dating and all the fabulous perks that come with it, it’s just important to keep cool and remember your logical needs. If some of your logical needs are to find a partner who is motivated, smart, makes you laugh and has a job he likes, then keep those things in mind as you date.
In what other ways should you keep cool when dating?
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