Out there in the big world of dating, every single wants supreme confidence – confidence in themselves, confidence in who they want to attract, confidence in how to act on the first few nerve wracking dates, confidence that they will have fun no matter what, confidence enough to be happy without being in a relationship. How do we get to this point of supreme dating confidence? Well, I’ve put together three essential tips to help you:
1) Grow Self-Confidence
The essence of a confident person is someone who is willing to grow, willing to learn and willing to make mistakes in order to experience life in novel and challenging ways. Deep down we all have desire to accomplish things, it might be to play the guitar, learn a foreign language, take on a martial art or enjoy the Argentine tango. It may be to travel the world, focus on a career in teaching or to start a charity. It might just be to get fit and live a healthier lifestyle.
Throwing yourself into something that will make you tick and give you a passion to focus on will grow your sense of self and therefore build self confidence. As you become more accomplished at your chosen passion, you will continue to grow confidence and enjoy these activities even more. It will also make you a more rounded and interesting person to others.
What would you like to learn to increase your sense of who you are?
2) Know What You Want From Dating
A crucial aspect of dating confidence is to know what you are looking for from your dating – are you looking for a casual fling, a short or long term relationship, marriage? Perhaps you just want to gain greater experience dating the opposite sex because you don’t have much experience so far? I know I was in this boat in my early thirties, and I just wanted to learn what it was like to get to know different women. It really took the pressure off to be clear what I was dating for and that my only goal was to gain dating experience!
Being clear about what we are looking for will also allow us to be clear with our dating partner or partners about where we stand. Take some time to think about what you really want from dating and be honest with yourself about it.
What do you want from dating? Do you feel confident in expressing this?
3) Know Your Qualities
Knowing what your personal qualities are in a realistic way is not arrogant, it is confident. The word ‘realistic’ is extremely important here. So how do we see ourselves realistically? Well, it’s easy really, we ask other people who know us! Believe it or not your friends will tend not to over or under exaggerate your qualities. They will usually appreciate them when asked even if they have previously been taking them for granted! The following exercise is very powerful and it works wonders!
Knowing what your personal qualities are in a realistic way is not arrogant, it is confident. Ask as many of your friends as you can to list three positive qualities about you that they really appreciate and why. It’s important to for them to say why they appreciate each quality if they can as this will give you evidence that they are telling the truth and will strengthen the value of the exercise. Give each friend a few days and ask them to email you their answers so you have a record.
Believe me, this really works and will give you a boost to you confidence that you will feel in your whole life as well as in your dating.