3 Big Mistakes Women Make While Dating @realmrlocario

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There are three common dating mistakes that are causing you to be chronically lonely and single. Watch out for these pitfalls, and you too can find Mr. Right!

Dating Mistake #1: Always Expecting a Man to Pay

As the waiter places the check on the table, you lean back and think, “He’s the man. He should pay for the date.” This attitude is outdated and tends to be a major turn-off for men. Yet many women continue to believe that a man should always pay, especially on a first date. A man wants to know that you are into him, and not just into his money. When you insist that he pays for you, you appear shallow, demanding, and greedy. This type of attitude is not attractive to men.

What you should do: It’s best to pull out your purse, and at least offer to pay half. This shows that you are not just with him to get a free meal. It also makes you appear considerate and self-assured. When you do this, the man might decline your offer to pay, but he will still appreciate that you wanted to in the first place.

Dating Mistake #2: Suppressing Your Sexual Energy

He leans in to caress your leg, and you move away. Women tend to think unless a guy knows and likes them first, they should not get physical with him. Avoiding contact and suppressing your sexual energy tends to give him the message that you are not interested. Being stand-offish and cold is not going to make a man want to get to know you better. I’m not saying that you have to sleep with every guy you date., but unless you show some sexual interest in him (touching, kissing, flirting), he will interpret your [lack of] actions to mean that you are not attracted to him.

What you should do: Be comfortable with yourself as a sexual woman! Your sexual energy is a part of you, so don’t suppress it. You can get to know him on an intellectual level, have great conversations, and whatever other non-physical activities you like, but don’t hesitate to get physical too.

Dating Mistake #3: Showing up Late or Being Flakey

You can’t find the shirt you wanted to wear, you’re not feeling especially outgoing, you lose track of the time, you misplace something… and you show up late. Being late or cancelling at the last minute tells a man that you do not respect him or his time. If he is still willing to see you after this, it is only because he’s hoping for some sex or he has very low self esteem.  He will most likely not consider taking you seriously. A man will usually lose interest in a woman who is inconsistent and flakes on him repeatedly.

What you should do: Respect your date’s time. If you expect that you will be late, call to let him know as soon as possible. If you will not be able to make it, plan another time to meet– and make sure you are there when you say you will be!

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Mr. Locario is a dating and life coach who has helped thousands of men and women strengthen their relationships, develop confidence in dating, and improve their love lives. He has published a number of books, videos, DVDs, and articles.


  • April 11, 2013

    Sandy Weiner

    Interesting tips, Hashim. While i agree with most of what you said, I disagree with the woman offering to pay half on a date. I have seen men split the price of coffee with a woman on a first date. What a turnoff. He comes across as a cheapskate, not a man of generous heart. As much as I’d like to believe we have come very far in women’s rights and equality among the genders, when it comes to relationships, we are still in the ice age. I am of the belief that a man courts a woman. He hunts. He pays. He makes first moves. After the courtship, a woman should pay half or even treat him. But not before the relationship is established.

    • April 16, 2013

      Carrie Blogshaw

      Hi Sandy, I completely agree with you. Chivalry and romance are a big part of dating at the beginning and a gentleman should always pay for the first few dates. We all know, once the relationship starts, that financial equality will settle in. However, in the beginning, men should make an effort to sweep us off our feet because afterwards, we end up sweeping under theirs and it’s not so hot!

      • April 17, 2013

        Sandy Weiner

        Yes, Carrie Blogshaw, I advocate for splitting on who pays after the courtship period is over.

    • April 16, 2013

      Dating Disasters

      Hi Sandy, I’m of two minds on this one. I’ve dated some, ahem…gentlemen, who have insisted on paying for everything, get angry when I’ve politely refused their advances after a date. On the other hand, I would hope that the man would want to pay as part of his “mating dance”- accepting money from your date could signal that you don’t think she’s worth spending money on. My solution is to plan a first date at Starbucks, arrive before my date, and buy my own drink. This gives me the advantage of owing him nothing, keeping the power in my hands, testing his manners to see if he will offer to get me something else, and being able to watch him interact with waitstaff as a means of assessing his character

      • April 17, 2013

        Sandy Weiner

        Dating Disasters,
        I do the same as you. Coffee dates are a great first date. Short and sweet, no big investment of time or money. Deciding if there is a second date. And then they can spend the big bucks on us : )

  • April 15, 2013

    christy Goldstein

    I agree with your thoughts on this. The one thing about who pays for what is always a touchy subject. I have always paid because the guys I was dating didn’t have the money to pay for a dinner. But I prefer paying half and half that way no one will feel like they are being taken advantage of, because if they do feel taken advantage up like myself I would throw a drink in the guys face and leave that way he HAS to pay. I am only semi kidding on that!