The Winky Face Sends Wrong Messages by @OnlineDateCoach

the winky face sends wrong messages
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The winky face ; ) is meant to strategically pop up in a message at just the right moment. People who use them say it’s all in good fun and think the receiver should take it as just being playful.

Perhaps innocent flirting is all it’s meant to be. I’ve been known to slip some winkys into my messages and I think most people have too. But when I listen to what some single guys and single girls have to say about it, I hear a slightly different tune.

3 Things happen when you use the winky face

It comes off as aggressive, is the most common opinion from men and women on the receiving end of the winky face. Amazing how such a simple thing can appear aggressive but The Winky Face | Singles Warehouseit can to some. Imagine you’re actually next to the person and you start winking at them, in between and at the end of random phrases… it’s not only aggressive behavior in the dating world, its borderline creepy and desperate.

It definitely means her guard is down, is the most popular one I hear coming from the guys. What this means is when some guys see a winky face they will instantly think, Score! In fact, I once heard a guy on the radio say (in a real thick NYC accent), “I know every time I see winky faces that the girl already wants me so why should I have to try hard.” And even if it’s not true, some guys will want to believe it anyway.

You probably send them out to everyone, is another big concern. A lot of single men and women in the online dating world view it as a turn off. They think you probably send them to everyone and anyone could date you. This instantly affects the impression you leave on them because it makes you seem promiscuous. And since none of this will ever help you find love, what’s the good in using it?

Real words work better then emoticons

The winky face is an example of an emoticon. Emoticons are character combinations used to express emotion and in some cases, it can improve how a person interprets plain text in a message.

When you’re single, setting a great impression is crucial so my expert advice to you will always be to find a better way to express how you feel using real words, and ditch the silly symbols and abbreviations.

Remember that the winky face can easily be viewed as the smiley face’s slutty cousin—who knows what will happen when she shows up? In almost any context, you risk the chance of making yourself sound “easy” if you decide to include it. It’s best to kick the winky to the curb and work on keeping your end of the conversation interesting and a little less provocative.

If you’re looking for a meaningful relationship and want to make sure you’re not sending the wrong messages, contact me for coaching. You can find better dates with less effort and heartache.

If this article gave you the confidence to find your match, try Singles Warehouse today!

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The Online Date Coach provides single women with expert relationship and date coaching by e-mail or by phone.


  • March 3, 2013


    Interesting post! I totally agree that we should be more imaginative when flirting and use the power of words rather than smileys…

    • March 28, 2013

      Online Date Coach

      Yes, words are so much better to make a connection with. Aren’t they?

  • March 4, 2013


    This is interesting but it probably depends on age, background and culture.

    • March 28, 2013

      Online Date Coach

      I suppose you could be right. I wouldn’t know about every culture, of course, but in my experience, everyone misuses the winky face (even I, sometimes). But it’s good to be aware of how it could come across to others.

  • September 22, 2013

    V. Echols

    Very true, in fact, since it’s inception, the WINKY FACE may have been the #1 cause of mixed signals and heartbreak!

    This happens to be the subject of our film project, Winky Face – A Short Film- and it would be great for your readers to give us feedback. The link below leads to the promotion video, and more info. If you’re inclined, please give us a shout out on our Facebook page.


    Promo Video of Winky Face

    FB page:

    Indigogo page: