I had no idea how common it was for women to text nude photos of themselves to their new guy. Yes, I was clueless. Then, I heard about people and friends who took naughty or explicit pics of themselves and text or emailed them to the person they were dating.
I think texting nude photos is bold. As you may be able to tell, my game plan is to not do that and just date for awhile and get to know the person. I don’t want to frighten the intended recipient too much. LOL.
A Little Mystery is A Good Thing for the Relationship
I was dating someone about 2 years ago who told me that, before dating me, he met this girl who was nice and quite aggressive. After their 2nd date, the girl started to text nude photos of herself to him. As he relayed the story, I got slightly uncomfortable because I was not sure where he was going with it. He said his initial reaction was “that’s cool and pretty hot.” They continued to date and the girl was anxious for them to sleep together right away. And, then he started to wonder “has she done this with everyone she has met? If so, how special am I?” He then started to think that perhaps she was easy and how many guys has she done this with? He shared with me that he did not think this was classy especially given that they had only been on few dates together. Yes, his initial guy reaction was “GREAT.” But on further reflection he decided he wanted someone who would hold themselves back a bit and not give away too much too soon. This made me appreciate him more as I liked that he was discerning. I am not advising not to send some saucy photos of yourself.
Flirty Texts Are Fun
Sexy or flirty emails certainly can be exciting and titillating. But, such explicit pics too early in the relationship can be out of balance with where you really are emotionally in the relationship … and the guy doesn’t feel like he has to work for anything. Ultimately, I think men enjoy the challenge. Perhaps waiting til the relationship was stronger or intimacy had been shared would have been the wiser move. In the end, he felt that it was not a classy move and instead of working in her favor, it worked against her. He broke up with her after the 4th date.
Let Men Enjoy the Challenge of the Pursuit
It really is important to know what is and is NOT appropriate. Take the time to get to know the person so that when you are intimate, it means something. If you don’t, I think it decreases the depth and significance of a true intimate connection. When you have self esteem and a sense of worth, you set an expectation of respect and it is from respect that everything really worthwhile in a relationship, like love and friendship, grows!