Admit it, you think it’s hard to flirt online and yet, most of us know how to flirt in real life. Even those who swear that they’re terrible flirts will start batting their eyes and flipping their hair when they meet someone to whom they’re wildly attracted. We’ll coyly laugh at someone’s jokes (even if their not in the least bit funny) and we’ll make silly flirty comments as part of the human mating ritual. Whether we realize it or not, flirting is in our DNA.
Flirting online though seems to be another story altogether. You can bat your eyes all you want at your computer screen, but the hottie on the other end won’t see it. This is frustrating beyond all reason to die-hard flirts and a hard dead-end for the “flirting challenged”. But is is possible to develop your online flirting techniques!
To flirt effectively online you’ll need to pull out your arsenal of words and pictures because, until you meet on a face-to-face date, that’s all you’ve got. Interestingly, this is sometimes easier for the shy singles. Something about the anonymity of the computer just makes it easier to type a flirty phrase than to actually **Gasp** say it to someone’s face
So, here are some tips to get you started:
Be Observant and Responsive
Read the person’s profile…thoroughly, take notes if you need to. When you write, note what you’ve picked up from that profile. I write in my own profile that I like to cook and that if my date likes to cook too we can “chop, dice and saute together…ooh la la”. I got an adorable response from someone along the lines of “would love to chop, dice, and saute with you.. Perhaps we could chiffonade too”. It was cute and flirty without being creepy. He read and reflected what I’d said. Remember, even without the cutesy wordplay, just showing someone you cared enough to read and remember their words is quite sexy!
Be Light And Funny When You Flirt Online
You don’t have to be a comedian, zinging one-liners at your online match. Just keep it light, add in a little joke or ironic comment here and there. You come across as, at the very least, happy …happy to be there and to be writing to this particular person. Match.com has a function called the “Daily 5”, where they send users 5 possible matches each day. I’ve contacted some of these men with the comment that the “Daily 5” makes us sound like online dating vitamins. Silly, yes, but I’ve gotten a few funny replies in return from that!
Don’t Overdo The Lovey Dovey Stuff
Initial emails are NOT the time to wax poetic about maybe being “soul-mates”, nor is it the time to talk about wanting marriage, children, or anything else commitment related. Even men and women who ultimately want this for themselves can be turned off by the “too-much-too-soon” approach. It always comes across as needy and a bit creepy. Remember, flirting is about having fun. Flirting also let’s you gauge the person’s level of interest in YOU as well as their sense of humor and zest for life. So take your time and have some fun when you flirt online.
Photos Can Be Flirty Too
All the online dating sites allow you to upload several pictures. While I always recommend that the primary photo be a simple portrait, current, well lit and showing you at your best, the other photos can be a bit more creative and flirty. Winking at the camera, laughing, doing something silly…these can all show off your playful side. Refrain…seriously, REFRAIN…from the waaaay too much cleavage, barely clothed, and drunken New Year’s party shots. These aren’t flirty and sexy. No matter how sexy you think you may look, it just comes across as cheap. You’re better than that (and that’s why I love you sweetie…;) The best, flirtiest pictures will be the ones where you look like you’re happy and savoring the moment….as if all you need to complete the picture is the person you’re writing to.
You can embellish and add to any of these tips. Make them your own and before you know it you’ll be an expert online flirter. So…what are you waiting for honey? Get out there and bat your cyber-eyes!
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