When anyone hears that not only do I date online, but write about it, I get a barrage of questions. The most popular being, “I’m thinking of online dating. Should I? (or sometimes it’s – should my friend) I just don’t know if it’s for me.” Which is really a two-part question, the respective answers being YES and MAYBE.
YES, if you’re single and are considering online dating, you should most definitely try it. Is it really for you? MAYBE…you really have to give it a good and honest effort to see if it’s a fit for you, your lifestyle, and your dating and/or commitment goals.
At Least TRY Online Dating
I always recommend to singles that they at least try online dating. Here you have the advantage of not having to go to clubs or bars to find a date. To me that’s always been the biggest advantage to online dating. I just never felt comfortable going up to men in a bar, nor did I feel comfortable being approached by a bar guy.
My other issue with conventional dating is all the well-meaning friends and family who have the perfect guy for me. First, these fix-ups rarely happen and when they do I’ve always found myself wondering afterwards “Do my friends/family really know me AT ALL??”. Online dating puts the reins in your hands, YOU get to pick who you’d like to contact, YOU get to write your own profile describing who you are and who your best match is. I like that kind of control.
I’ve found that having to post an online profile is sometimes better than therapy. To do this right one has to go through some personal analysis, and that is always interesting. When I posted my first online dating profile I described myself as shy and I quickly discovered that I was anything but shy. So, you learn many things about yourself through this process.
The other great part of online dating, for me anyway, is getting to meet people you’d otherwise not. My last long-term boyfriend was in such a vastly different line of work, that we most likely would never have met were it not for the internet.
On the downside, you do have to be careful and wise online. There are a lot of great people online but also many who are not. You don’t have to go far to read of singles who’ve been cheated on, lied to, hurt and scammed by criminals and sex-offenders.
You can date safely online if you remember this:
- A profile will tell you part of the picture
- A phone call will tell you a little bit more
- Meeting will tell you a little bit more (AND let you know if there’s chemistry!)
- A Google search of your date is always a good idea (Trust me, they are Googling YOU)
Use your best instincts, if something feels wrong about your date – you’re probably right. Date with your head, not your heart at first and you’ll find that it’s really not all that hard to sniff out the losers…and avoid them
The key to successful online dating is to be safe, have a sense of humor and an open mind. Even if you don’t meet your perfect match you have fun and great stories to tell !