I don’t have to tell you, that online dating is not all it’s cracked up to be. I needed it to be easy, and fun. So when my friend told me about the book called The Four Man Plan – A Romantic Science, it seemed like a good idea and a great way to start dating again. I hadn’t dated in about a year and a half, and wasn’t keen on traditionally dating, but knew I needed to get my dating mojo on. I was going away for 4 months so I really had no attachment to how this went. I just figured I’d date and then leave. It seemed pretty foolproof, and let’s face it…it’s never a bad idea to employ a dating strategy when you’re putting yourself out there.
A Dating Strategy
How the Four Man Plan works, (basically) each man is worth half a point, meaning you can have up to 16 men on your “mantrix” at any given time. If you have contact information for a man, he gets half a point and goes on the “mantrix”. Yes that’s right; you get to use EXCEL to keep track of your dating. It’s kind of awesome. Each guy gets a nickname. You’re only allowed one “out of towner” on your mantrix at any given time. If one falls off (for any reason) you can put someone else on there, but only ONE out of towner at one time. AND..you can only be sleeping with one man. That’s it. If you have a guy you’re dating and he’s on your mantrix and you sleep with him, you are not allowed to sleep with any of the other guys. If you do happen to have sex with another fella on the spreadsheet, the first guy has to be let go and he’s not allowed on the mantrix again.
That part of the strategy is really great. Why? Well because sleeping with someone is easy (if you’ll pardon the pun). Having that rule in place means you’re more likely to really think about who you’ll have sex with, because once you do, you lose the first guy, forever.
It’s all very clearly laid out, and it’s quite the structure. And I have to tell you, it was so fun! I am not a big fan of dating. I’m more of a “relationship-er”. I like to meet a guy, get to know him, date only him. I’ve never dated more than 2 people at the same time. So this was WAYYY out of my comfort zone. The idea behind it is that competition brings out the best in men. So all the guys I was dating had to know I was dating others. I had 2 guys bail when they found out I was dating more than just them. Mind you I always told them on the first date, so it didn’t matter much that they opted out.
I had nicknames for my guys. I hadn’t dated that much EVER. Nor had dating ever been that much fun. Dating was always something that I considered a “slog”…but this time, there was no attachment. I didn’t have to put all my “eggs in one basket” (so to speak). I could just date. And some of these guys pulled out all the stops. Great dates, lots of fun, laughs. I only ever kissed one of them (he didn’t stay on the mantrix after that…ick). But it was so much fun.
Dating IS fun!
Imagine?! AND having a full dance card sure does do wonders for a girl’s self-esteem.
So…if you’re thinking about putting yourself back out in the world of dating, or you’re slogging through it..this might be the way to go.
OR if you’ve never dated…this is definitely the way to go. The Plan really does keep us from making silly mistakes that we as women make when we date.
Did it work for me? Well no. It didn’t. Not in the long term anyway. But it sure did work out for me to get me back on the saddle and finding out that dating can be fun. If it’s not fun, stop doing it.
Lola Speaking
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