Online Dating Double Talk by @JYDatingBlind

Online Dating Double Talk
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Online Dating Double Talk

Start your online dating career off right by learning the lingo of what I like to call “Online Dating Double Talk”. When a person says one thing but really means something else, that’s my personal definition of double talk. Now of course this is meant as playful banter but there’s always a little truth in every joke, that’s what makes it funny.

You have to pay close attention to what is said when chatting with someone you just met online. We all know that communication of any sort is important, but over the web it can really get dicey, especially when you’re not too good at picking up hints—like me.

Single, Dating and Double Talk

I remember being at this party where a girl walked up to me out of the blue and asked if I wanted to dance. Even though I was busy holding up the wall, I said sure.

The party was outdoors and it started to get cold. After the third song she said she was chilly and needed to go warm up. I wanted to keep dancing so I found another willing participant and continued to shake my groove thang.

Later on that evening I saw my first dance partner making out with some random guy in a corner. She shot me a dirty look that said, this could have been you you idiot. I immediately thought, “Oh, so that’s what she meant by needing to get warm.”

You can imagine how stupid I felt. I didn’t feel dumb because of the missed opportunity to fool around with this girl, I was never really into fast women. It was the fact that I didn’t pickup on the signals she was throwing my way that left me feeling like Boo Boo the Fool—No relation to Honey Boo Boo.

Now even though this example is from an offline experience, the same can apply when communicating on your laptop, tablet or smartphone. In fact there’s even more room for confusing and misunderstanding.

Saying Something and Meaning It

Being able to pickup on a person’s unspoken words—now that’s a skill worth having. Because there’s what a person “SAYS” and what they “REALLY MEAN”—the stuff that you have to read in between the lines to get.

Below are some common phrases you may have come across along with their coded meanings. I can’t take credit for cracking the codes for all of them. Many of these have been handed down from the forefathers and mothers of online dating. And they would expect us to both add to the list and pass it along. There’s no point in leaving future online dating generations to figure out this stuff for themselves.

After reading these you may never look at the words that are coming out of a person’s mouth the same way again.

SAID: Hi, glad to hear back from you.
REALLY MEANS: Thank God someone finally responded. I was beginning to think I’d have to hang pork-chops around my neck so the dog will play with me.

SAID:  I’m 5’10”
REALLY MEANS:  I am 5’5” with 2″ heels

SAID:  I may have withheld some information
REALLY MEANS:  I am a pathological liar

SAID: Tattoos are cool
REALLY MEANS: I might get lucky here

SAID: Drive home safe
REALLY MEANS: So long sucker

SAID: We broke up months ago
REALLY MEANS: My ex lives with me

SAID:  My ex and I are not together
REALLY MEANS:  I have a friend with benefits

SAID:  Everyone says I’m a nice guy
REALLY MEANS:  I want to wear your skin as a unitard

SAID: Sorry I haven’t replied to your messages, things have been a little hectic
REALLY MEANS: I’m trying to avoid you like the black plague

SAID: I’ve been doing fine how about yourself?
REALLY MEANS: Lets cut to the chase, have you been out whoing and can I get some?

SAID: Dating is not really my thing, I`m more of a relationship person
REALLY MEANS: I can make you love me

So ask yourself, when he says he’ll call you, what does he really mean.

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J.Y. Blind Author of Blind Dating Blind – My misadventures in online dating. It's a memoir of my embarrassing and hard luck online dating years. My talents and interests include: song writing, stock market trading, playing tennis, golf and video games, real estate investing and now writing. I’ve cleared many hurdles over the years but none more monumental than those surrounding my love life. And despite my dating blunders I did manage to find and marry the woman of my dreams. My wife and I have been together since ’06 now and have one son. Now I share my journey and lessons learned with others both to entertain and inform. You can connect with me at Blind Dating Blind or on Twitter

2 Comments

  • January 20, 2013

    lbigfoot

    It would be nice if women said what they mean

  • January 23, 2013

    Single Dating Diva

    Love this! You are so right … people should just come out and say what they mean. I try my best to do that, although it’s not always easy. Dating is confusing as it is without needing a translation device! Great post!