Sadly, just being out and about is not enough to get hit on these days. You have to make a concerted effort. While it would be nice to just hit your local pub and watch the men fight to get to you, those chances are slim. At least if you’re me any way. If that happens to you, you should probably just stop reading now.
“I never get hit on”
That was me, 6 months ago. I never, ever got hit on. I just didn’t. I’m by no means ugly or unavailable, but I just never got hit on. Once I started writing this dating blog, I had to do something differently in order to keep things interesting.
I started paying attention to how I reacted to men when they talked to me. And there is no other way to put this than, I was downright mean. I used to hate being hit on. I think pick-up lines are stupid. Whether it was a “classic” or something cheesy a guy came up with, I didn’t respond positively. When a guy asked me if his friend was telling me about the “puppies he saved,” I believe I responded with, “no, no he isn’t. And it’s a good damn thing because.. blah blah.”
Now that guy was just trying to be nice and strike up a conversation with me, but I squashed him like a bug! I mean, let’s face the facts, bro. That shit was lame. However, you only get better at dating and meeting people by dating and meeting more people.
Practice Makes Perfect
We’ve been hearing this for years, decades even. Whether it be tying your shoes, parallel parking or dating. You just have to keep doing it before you get good.
Let’s skip over the actual getting hit on process for just a sec — don’t worry, we’ll be back — and let’s talk about how you interact once someone has initiated a conversation. This part is harder than just getting a guy to approach you.[quote align=”right” color=”#999999″]Side note: Girls should have all types of relationships, and you never know where one will start. For example, last Thanksgiving, I had a one night stand that turned into one of the most passionate relationships of my life. Had I not allowed him to keep talking with me, I’d have missed that chance. And sure, he wasn’t my hubs but I learned a hell of a lot. [/quote] Take a step back and look and how you are interacting. Stop shutting men down for whatever reason. Whether you think you’re not good enough or he’s not good-looking enough, trust me, if a guy has struck up a conversation with you, he’s interested. Now, he may not be interested in a long term relationship, and if it’s post midnight on a weekend, he might not really even want to know your name, but he’s interested in something. Feel it out.
And even if that doesn’t happen, if nothing comes out of the conversation, even if you’re cringing for 10 minutes while talking to some guy slurring his words and/or “spitting mad game,” you’re learning. You’re practicing dating. And that is what we’re out here trying to do, right?
Now, let’s get to the fun (and easier) stuff….
Reel ‘em in, Ladies
Men are simple creatures. They are… I have learned this in my research. Getting a guy to approach you is as simple as 1, 2, 3! Ok, maybe not that easy, but start doing these things and you will notice a huge jump in men who approach you.[quote align=”right” color=”#999999″]Pro tip: If you’re throwing yourself a pity party, and can’t snap out of it even for a night, don’t go out. You’re just going to get more down on yourself due to lack of people approaching you. Wait until you’re ready to have fun… then go. Then it’s a boost for you rather that a let down.[/quote] First and foremost: SMILE. Yes, that’s right. Smack on a big ol’ beautiful smile and look happy! What? Look happy? You mean guys don’t want to approach some miserable chick at a bar? Whoa, ground-breaking, I know! You want to look like someone who is fun to be around.
Second, don’t bury your nose in your phone. It’s a tell-tale sign of a person who is either:
- Trying not to be approached
- Not confident enough to hang out alone even if just for a few moments
- More invested in something or someone that is not present
You don’t want to be any of those things. Being approachable is the name of the game. You want to appear confident, and you want to seem as though you are engaged with your current surrounding. That way if someone does approach you, you just might take an active role in the conversation. So put your phone away…
The third thing is a little more difficult because this varies from person to person, but put yourself together in a way that makes you feel sexy and confident. If that means wearing jeans, a tee and boots, rock it. If you want to wear a low-cut top, skirt and stilettos, go for it! The most important thing is that you dress in a way that makes you feel awesome. If you’re walking around feeling like you’re working it, guys are going to think you’re working it.
So go out, smile, be engaged and look good. Then guys just may be knocking each other down to get to you.