I have been through quite an ordeal this week and the last think I wanted to do was to write my weekly post. Some of you know what was happening and I will not bore you with any details, as exciting as they may be. But my ordeal got me thinking, something I do not like to do when I am at work or before coffee.
What is Love?
My significant other keeps pressuring me for a commitment. I look at her and say to myself, “I am living with you. I am not dating Sandra, Anne or Jessica while I am with you. What commitment are you looking for?” But of course I know she is talking about that scary word that begins with M. Maybe it is the beginning of a Hitchcock movie “Dial M for…”
Am I ready for this step? OK, I can say the word, Marriage. I said it and I am still alive. Shall I keep waiting for Anne Hathaway? The big question is not marriage, but do I love her? Not only whether I love her, but whether I want to spend the rest of my life next to her. In truth, I have more past than future, so this is it! I need to be sure. No second chances. I also realize that if I say no to Sharon, then in essence I am making a decision to be on my own. To find someone as great as she is, at my age, is quite something. But do I love her? Then again, what is love?
This is not a simple question to answer. Not all love is the same and there are various levels. Do you feel the same love for your parents that you feel for your pet? Of course not. It is different. You can have love of food, family love, love your pets, alcohol, chocolate and many other things, but none are the same as your spouse.
Even with your spouse, there are different levels. I have had passionate love for a partner but it was soon extinguished, by her. I have had butterflies in the stomach for my soulmate, as it where. But these are not what I am feeling at the moment.
I looked into this and found quite a good post here:
- Epithumia: Is of Greek origin and is a love based on a strong desire of many sorts. Many times it is associated with lust or sometimes to covet.
- Eros: This the love most associated with romance. It is that head-over-heals feeling we get when a relationship moves forward.
- Storge: (Also Greek) Storge love is often described as a comfortable old shoe relationship comprised of natural affection and a sense of belonging to each other. Storge love represents a safe haven for couples as it is a place of acceptance, mutual respect and shelter.
- Phileo: This love cherishes and has tender affection for the beloved but it expects a response. It is a love of relationship, comradeship, sharing, communication and friendship.
- Agape: To love agapely is to love your spouse completely, love them wholly, but expect nothing in return from them at the current time. Agape love is different from eros love in that it is not sexual, nor romantic in nature.
I am sure there are others. I looked over at my Sharon and thought to myself, “Yes, I do want to wake up next to her for the rest of my life.”
So what is the next step?