Relationship Rule #1: Keep Sacred Thy Bathroom Habits by @LaProvocateur

Relationship Rule Bathroom Habits
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Relationship Rule Bathroom Habits


My last blog post about the rules for romance when you live with roommates got me thinking more about all of the awkward situations that can arise when you live with other people. In particular, it reminded me of one of my oldest blog posts for La Petite Provocateur on the topic of bathroom habits and relationship boundaries when co-habitating with your significant other (which, of course, reminded me of one of my favorite Single Dating Diva posts on the topic, too).

Intimacy is lovely. Comfort is great. But, at what point does the blending of the two get weird?

You see, true intimacy can be wonderful. Getting comfortable with your partner can be great, too. But, at what point does the blending of intimacy and comfort become too much? Take, for example, one of my previous relationships (as always, the names are changed to spare the not-so-intimacy from their deserved shame).

Relationship RuleMark and I had been only been dating a short while when our comfort level became such that showering at his apartment became allowable…and pretty much necessary. One morning, he gingerly showed me where he kept the towels and left me to shower in peace…or so I thought. No sooner was I soaping up my nether-regions when I caught a male figure standing outside of the shower stall staring in at me. No knock. No “hello.” Nothing. I honestly don’t remember what he was doing there, but I instantly screamed, “THIS IS A PRIVATE MOMENT” before clutching the shower curtain for cover…and taking it down with me as I fell out of the shower and on to the floor. I mean, I know he had seen me naked before, but there was something about being caught in an intimate moment like that without any warning that totally caught me off guard.

[quote align=”left” color=”#999999″]He was inviting himself in to all sorts of “private moments” in the bathroom. He felt closer to me…and I just felt dirty.[/quote]

Afterwards, we had a good laugh about it all, and “this is a private moment” became a long-standing joke in our union. However, at some point, the line between private and non-private moment continued to get blurred and, before I knew it, he was welcoming himself in to all sorts of bathroom “private moments.” To him, he felt closer to me when sharing every aspect of our lives…including bathroom habits. Me? I just felt dirty. I mean, who wants company in the bathroom? Sure, join me while I brush my teeth. Come chat with me while I blow dry my hair. But anything more is strictly off-limits. However, I had reached a point of no turning back, and my pleas for privacy were always met with cries of “but we’re a couple.” Seriously.

Near the end of our relationship, after Mark and I had been living together in a one bedroom and one bathroom apartment for some time, he began to quietly merge his morning routine with my morning routine by taking his morning dump while I showered. Imagine my horror and disgust at having those smells and sounds and sounds invade what was supposed to be the most serene and clean part of my day. I mean, we shared just about everything else with one another, but wasn’t anything sacred anymore?

[quote align=”right” color=”#999999″]We all know what kind of stuff goes on behind those closed bathroom doors, but NO ONE needs a witness.[/quote]

Relationship Rules

In my opinion, dearest readers, there are, in fact, a few things that should still be kept sacred in any relationship regardless of how long you’ve been together and, as far as I am concerned, bathroom habits is at the top of the list. After all, we all know what kind of stuff goes on behind the closed bathroom doors, but no one…I mean NO ONE…need to witness it. In the case of bathroom habits, ignorance is bliss and discretion is sexy. Seriously, do you lover a favor: shut the door, turn on a fan, run the water (I know, not very “green,” but still!), light a match, spray some perfume. Keep that space and time sacred. And, for goodness sake, if you have to come in, KNOCK! Please and thank you.

So, do you agree with me? Are you okay with sharing bathroom habits and “private time” with your partner? What is YOUR number one relationship rule? I’m dying to hear 😉
La Petite Provocateur

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True Tales of Love, Lust, and Lingerie. Open-minded and brutally honest oversharer with a weakness for sweet smiles, loud laughter, drive, passion, and tattoos. Oh, and a great ass never hurt, either. As a New England native who is now living the California dream, I have a great blend of East Coast and West Coast mentalities. And, while I am (happily) in a committed relationship nowadays, I have plenty of dating and relationship stories and insight to share. Check out my blog to read some oldies but goodies or, better yet, track me down on Twitter Twitter and Facebook to keep up with latest shenanigans. xoxo xoxo La Petite Provocateur


  • November 14, 2012

    Rita Chand

    I love the “brushing our teeth together” routine, and I’m a big fan of having a shower together, but I draw the line at anything that requires a toilet.

    • November 14, 2012

      Petite Provocateur

      Couldn’t possibly agree any more! I’m fine brushing teeth together and the occasional shower can be nice. However, that’s IT. Plus, I shave my lady bits in the shower. Don’t need him there for that either! xoxo

  • November 17, 2012

    leah ruthe

    Love it! Another great installment–informative and as usual a bit of hilarity!

    • November 21, 2012

      Petite Provocateur

      Thanks for reading, Leah! Much appreciated 🙂 xoxo