A few weeks ago I stumbled across this totally by accident. But the more I read about the subject, the more interested I became in it. It has been an eye opening experience, so much so that I am starting to feel like I finally found something that makes sense to me.
What is Polyamory?
The word polyamory come from the Greek “poly” meaning multiple and the Latin “amor” meaning love, so multiple love. Generally it refers to a broad range of relationships or orientation towards relationship. This goes beyond a monogamous relationship of two people being romantically/sexually exclusive towards each other. How it differs from infidelity is that couples decisions are made openly, ethically and consentually.
I understand that polyamory is a taboo topic, but it is also something that is becoming a growing trend among monogamous couples. They are opening up their relationship and realizing that maybe they were meant to love more than one person. When I wrote the post Indecisive Lily, I had never heard of polyamory, I did not even know that it existed. I had heard of polygamy but that was it. In the post I had questioned why it was so wrong to love or care about more then one person. I have always wondered why it was so socially taboo. There are so many great people in this world who can add to the person that you are by having them in your life and loving them.
Why is Polyamory such a Socially Taboo Topic?
I think it is because we have all grown up in a society that tells us it is wrong to be in love/sexual/intimate relationships with more then one person, or one of my friends said, “monogamy is an artificial institution, imposed on us by a conservative society”. But those in some ways are a little strong words, as much as I may agree with him in most ways. I would rather say that growing up we have always been told that we are meant for just one person and one person is meant for us. For the most part this just is not true, not only as humans do we fall in and out of love all the time, we also change and grow with every new person who enters our lives.
So What Does Polyamory Have to do with Being Single and Dating?
Typically most polyamorous couple do start out as monogamous letting in either a few singles who are willing to be part of their family or sometimes another polyamorous couple. But with polyamory coming out of the taboo closet and becoming more accepted, will you as a single person be able to or willing to be part of polyamory? Yes, it has a long time to go before it becomes something main stream and accepted by all, but you just never know who you may meet tomorrow. If you found out that you were dating someone who was polyamorous, would you accept it or walk away? So this leads me into my final question.
Is Polyamory for Everyone?
As much as I would like to say yes because humans by nature were not made to be monogamous, I do have to say no. For the reason that there is still something great to say about monogamy, being exclusive to one person makes something very special, extra special. Plus there are some couples out there that meet and do not love anyone else for the rest of their lives, they pass on being in love with anyone else. For the rest of us, maybe polyamory just works better because we do love and or care for more then one person in our lives, and that is not wrong either. As for me, as I said in the beginning, this is something that finally makes sense. Am I going to start practicing it? Well, that is still a different story, I am still learning and meeting people living this lifestyle and trying to understand if this lifestyle is really for me.
If you are interested in this subject I do encourage you to look up the information for yourself because I have basically just touched on the subject. There are great references, a lot of groups out there, a few books on the subject and even dating sites too.
Be safe and happy dating!!