About six weeks ago, I met an amazing guy. He’s amazing because he makes me laugh, and I love how he takes care of me, and he is so easy to get along with, and he’s charming, he’s a great kisser, he knows his sports, he’s very intelligent and can talk about anything, and most importantly, he’s very passionate about life and what he does.
There are so many great things about him, and it’s only been six weeks. There’s so much more I get to learn about him and he about me.
Well, what I’ve noticed in my short span of being in this relationship, is that people have opinions. And they really want to share them with me. Funny how new relationships have a way of doing that. The intention is always good. The intention is always because they want the best for you, and they want you to be happy. However, sometimes, that isn’t necessarily the experience.
People have their own stuff about online dating, or about men, or about new relationships, or about guys who wear denim shorts in cold weather, or opinions about someone who owns his own company, or why he’s never been married, or maybe, he’s really just not that into you, or maybe he lied about why he didn’t call you back. Everyone has an opinion about everything. If you think hard enough, I’m sure you’ll remember a time when a friend shared with you she’d met someone, and he/she may be excited, but you’re always the first to make sure to let them know they need to tone it down. You don’t know yet, if it’s a thing. “What if it doesn’t work out?” There are just so many unknowns.
People who have dated think that they know everything there is to know about dating. People who haven’t dated think they know everything there is to know about dating, because they are married, so obviously..they must. Course, I’m not talking about all people. Some people are genuinely happy for you and they really want it to work out. In fact, 90% of the people in your life are rooting for you. They are your champion in the world of relationships and want nothing more than for you to be happy.
So, the next time one of those people suggests that perhaps it’s time for you to have the “are we exclusive” conversation, or the “hey, so how many sexual partners have you had?” or even “how did you vote in the last election?” take it with a grain of salt. Remember, that 90% of the people in your life want nothing more than for you to be happy, and to live happily ever after, and every now and again, one of them may ask you a really dumb question, based on their own past experience in a relationship gone wrong, that has nothing to do with you or your new man/lady friend. They are simply projecting the things they wish they’d done, or the things they’ve thought in previous dating experiences, but mostly…they’re just looking out for you.
Don’t do what I did. Don’t take it to heart and drive yourself into a frenzy while thinking about nothing else, making up all kinds of things, only to wake up in the morning to find you’d gone temporarily insane and there’s nothing to worry about.
He’s into you too.
Trust your instincts. Listen to your gut. You’ll know if you need to talk about any of that stuff. You’ll know when it’s important to know the answers. Most importantly, don’t ever ask anyone how they voted. If they want you to know, they’ll tell you.
The experience of falling in love is yours. It isn’t like anyone else’s and it won’t ever be like anyone after you.
If it feels like every time you open your mouth, a cliche falls out, so be it.
Just remember, it’s only an opinion.