Finding a Mate on Your First Date: What Do You Talk About? by @howcanufindlove

Finding a Mate
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Finding a Mate

A first date is not necessarily about finding a mate or even finding a soulmate. But if things go well, this is exactly what it could lead to, so you need to be careful about what you say and what you don’t say in order to increase your chances of finding out whether this is the man for you.

Find a Soulmate or Have a Great Time?

First impressions last a lifetime so if you want to be remembered as a confident person, speak with confidence. No guy likes a girl who speaks into her napkin or hands, figuratively and literally speaking. Speak about yourself honestly and, more importantly, be direct in what you say. However, this can often come across as rude, so err on the side of caution if you feel that your tone is too brusque. You want to balance directness with the right amount of coyness but being sincere is something you definitely want to do.

Be Engaging

Ask a lot of ‘interested’ questions.  People love talking about themselves and things that interest them so hobbies, family, likes and dislikes, interesting stories from work, current events are usually big hits with both men and women. But keep away like the plague from the usual controversial topics like political views and religious beliefs; these usually lead to heated discussions rather than engaging conversations. Also stay away from talking about past relationships, even if they were bad experiences (especially if they were bad), because you’re taking the focus away from the two of you.

Another major no-no is being too personal or inquisitive, and making it sound like a police interrogation. Steer clear of subjects like marriage and children – a first date isn’t the time to be planning your wedding or talking about the school that your child will attend! Instead, be a little flirtatious without sounding unnatural. Don’t rehearse your lines and then deliver them like an express train about to go off the tracks.

The Second Date?

Most of all, if you feel that the person is right for you, lead up to it without sounding too eager. You can ask them if they had a good time, would they like to do it again and things like that.  But, leave it to them to decide. Don’t be too hung up on what may or may not happen. Remember, you’re not out to find a soulmate on the very first date. If the person is right for you and you’re right for them, they’ll feel it too. But if you have no interest in dating that person again, don’t pursue that line of conversation about whether you had a great time or if they would like to go out again. Sometimes, these things spill out of your mouth without your knowledge – especially when it’s time to say good night and you want to fill some empty, awkward conversation space.

Enjoy yourself and have a good time – this is possibly the most valuable advice that anyone can give you. If you do that, behave naturally and be yourself, then when the person and the timing are right, you’ll know.

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If you have been wondering how you can TURN YOUR LIGHT ON, WOW AND ENCHANT YOUR SOULMATE into entering your life, you are getting close to some answers. Lorii Abela is your Soulmate Expert. To start the year with a bang, find out how can you find love in 2014. Call now at (312) 235-2688 for a free 15 minutes consultation or contact us at

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