So you like someone … or you see a girl you like from across the room. What to do? If your first instinct is usually to run, then no wonder you’re single. It’s the assertive guys who get the girl … don’t kid yourself. Although it may be a nice idea, a woman isn’t just going to fall into your lap … you’ve got to go get her!! In my experience I get a lot of “sir stares a lot” and not enough “sir asks me out”. What ever happened to guy sees girl, guy APPROACHES girl, guy asks girl out and guy and girl go on a date? It’s just not that easy anymore, is it? Getting the courage to ask a woman out could be the scariest thing you do but can reap lots of reward! It’s simple really … it is! So, here’s what to do!
The Approach
You see a woman you like. She may be on the street, in the store, at the bar or even at work. Just look at her, check out her body language. Does she seem closed off? Does she look at you? If she looks at you – smile. Does she smile back? If she does, that’s a green light to just approach her. It doesn’t mean she’ll say yes, but at least she’ll be open to saying hello. In fact, 53% of singles find a great smile the most attractive feature, most likely by smiling at you she’s making an effort to be attractive to you.
If she gives you a dirty look or doesn’t give you any positive body language, then don’t bother. But, if you have the green light to go say hello, do it! Take a deep breath and walk over. What’s the worst that could happen? She says she’s busy and can’t talk. That’s OK, at least it wasn’t a missed opportunity. You don’t know unless you try. So walk over … approach her. Just start by saying “hello, I’m [insert your name]”.
No Pick Up Lines PLEASE
No one likes a pick up line. No, really, they don’t work. They are cheesy and irrelevant. Woman are much smarter than that and the only thing a pick up line will do is get you rejected or laughed at. So don’t do it. There are much more intelligent, effective and useful ways to speak to a woman that will make you more likely to get that date. So put the rule book away and burn those pick up lines! Here’s what to do.
Flattery Will Get You EVERYWHERE
Who doesn’t like getting a compliment? Really?! Everyone likes hearing they look attractive, or what they are wearing is nice. Women particularly like this. I don’t care how humble they act, they love a good compliment from a man. I know I do … sometimes if they cater too much to my ego I do drop some of the bricks off my wall. I know, shameful isn’t it, but it’s my big Leo ego.
I read that 51% percent of single people surveyed say that flattery is the best way to attract someone. So there you go, what was it that attracted you to her in the first place? Her hair? Her smile? Her face? What she’s wearing? The way she dances? So, tell her. Just don’t be creepy or sleezy about it. Stay classy and normal. Just say “I noticed your [insert what you liked] and wanted to let you know I really liked it”. Recently, a guy loved my red hair and it drove him crazy, he kept telling me so, I melted … more about that story another time.
Common Interests
People usually date those of common interests. That’s really a no brainer. People want to be around others who are like them and like to do the same things. Chances are you have something in common because you are in the same vicinity. You need to use this opportunity and whatever it is you’re both doing to continue your discussion.
Let’s say you’re at a store. You are both in this store. This is a common interest, even if it’s a grocery store. Talk about the store, talk about why you like the store, talk about something interesting that’s happened to you there. For example, you could say “I come here often, I really like their selection of international foods”. This could open up a whole new discussion topic. (PS: if she’s buying condoms no you can’t use that as your reason to approach)
Ask For the Date
Once it’s the right time to take the next step, it will feel comfortable and natural. So just do it. Take what she said about your common interests and ask her on a date. Keep it simple and casual. For example, if she said she likes gelato, ask her to go for gelato at this great place you know. If she said she likes nature, ask her to go for a nature walk. If she said she loves gourmet coffees, go somewhere trendy for coffee. Get what I mean? Adjust the date to your discussion. It makes it a natural progression and you’re more likely to get a yes.
Does It Work?
Well, these things definitely work for me and most girls I know. If a guy has enough balls to approach me then I respect that. I don’t smile at anyone that I wouldn’t be interested in talking to. When I do smile it’s a GREEN LIGHT. No, seriously, come over and say hi. I am so tired of guys staring and not doing anything about it. For goodness sake I’m not a museum piece nor is any other woman!! Just do it!!!
To Recap = smile, if she smiles back approach, introduce yourself, compliment/flatter her, tell her why you were attracted to her, talk about common interests, ask her out on a date that caters to your common interest … enjoy!
What works for you? I would love to hear about it!!
Happy Dating!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
It showcases the many adventures we have and how challenging, but also exciting dating really is! She shares her dating stories as well as those of others. With experience comes wisdom and she also share some lessons learned along the way.
WINNER of Best Overall Dating Blog and Named one of the 10 BEST Women’s Dating Experts!
You can find her at http://singledatingdiva.com and make sure to follow her on Twitter @SingleDatingDiv. She also hosts our #SWEXPERTCHATs on Tuesdays.
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