Do you remember your first crush?
There was something so magical about that wasn’t there? The butterflies and the love notes.
Or perhaps you remember your first love?
How old were you when you fell in love for the first time?
Me? I remember having a crush on the same guy from the time I was 12 till I was 17. Oh my goodness, how sad and pathetic was I? He went out with pretty much all of my friends and broke my heart a little bit each time, and, to be fair, he broke all of their hearts too.
The number of times he broke my heart, I lost count.
Something happens to us when our hearts get broken, doesn’t it?
Life is all about taking risks, and experiencing new things, and sharing ourselves, and ensuring that we are known by others.
It’s important isn’t it? For us to know each other, for us to be known by someone else.
And yet, we get our hearts broken, and we start to shut down. Perhaps all at once, but usually, little by little. We shut down the parts of ourselves that matter. We stop believing in the magic.
And yet we wonder why dating these days is so difficult. So challenging. Why we have a hard time trusting each other. Trusting what men say to us. Trusting that the woman we’re dating isn’t dating someone else at the same time.
Because it’s all happened. To us.
We are so afraid of what might happen, that so often we don’t even try…or we think we are trying and we aren’t really. We go to sleep covered in our cynicism and we wake up that way too. We won’t want to be like that, but we can’t help it. Our past dictates that bad things will happen when it comes to the men or women we let into our hearts.
But what if that’s not true? What if it was something that happened, and now we have a chance to do something new?
What if it was an experience perhaps that needed to happen, so that we could meet the future? What if we actually believed the next guy? Or we actually trusted the next girl?
More importantly, what if we trusted ourselves to know what’s right for us? Without having to go through the heartbreak part?
I can see it would make a difference for me. I can see that if I were to trust myself when it comes to the man in my future, to know what feels right, and to be enamored enough with myself to know when I deserve more than what I’m getting, or may get, or have gotten. What if I do things completely differently than the last time?
Maybe. Just maybe, it’ll all work out in the end.
Because let’s face it…at the end of the day, all we have is ourselves, and our desire to be known by another.