How many of you have dated someone only for it to not work out and when you analyze what went wrong with 20/20 vision you realize there were red flags, but you did not really see them or you chose to ignore them?
I am guilty of this. Sometimes, you like someone so much and so want it to work out, that you overlook certain things. But, there inevitably comes the time when those things we overlooked can no longer be ignored.
No one is perfect, although I like to think I am. But, my friends keep that perception in check!
We all have our idiosyncrasies. We all have habits that will annoy someone at some point in time. But those are not the red flags I am talking about. I am talking about those characteristics about a person that can indicate someone will cheat … is a party person who does not want to settle down … has too big an ego … someone who is not thoughtful or does not have their priorities straight or someone who is passive aggressive, not ambitious or down right violent with a bad temper.
If you carefully read a profile, you will be surprised by how much you really can tell about someone and yes, there are flags that go up.
Personally, if a guy posts a bare chested pic of himself or takes one posing his muscles in the bathroom mirror, I usually laugh out loud and move on. This indicates ego and a focus on the exterior vs. interior self. If someone rights, “I work hard and play hard” – well this means the person is probably a serial dater who wants to have a good time and not settle down. When I am reading a profile and a person is scolding me before I met them, I think they might have a temper or are intolerant of a person’s individuality. For example, I hate the people who say, “I won’t write if you don’t have a pic.” Or, “please, don’t email me if you are a conservative – I don’t want to deal with stupidity.” Or, the person who advises that they are in town every other month – this means they are probably cheating on a wife, but have the money to have an apartment out of town
Now, some people have certain parameters but have a charming and polite way of getting their point across. And, this could mean they are honest but yet thoughtful in how they communicate. For example, “I love animals and have a dog and cat and hope you are not allergic. If you are, please consider responding. If you do, and we work out, we can figure out the animal thing.”
When reading a profile, ask yourself – does this person seem controlling or sincere? Does this person seem sweet? Do they have their priorities straight – do they mention love and gratefulness for family? Do they have a sense of humor?
Don’t just look at the physical — read between the lines and you may find that hidden gem of a person!