When it comes to finding that special someone, that one that you want to love with all of your heart for the rest of your life, it is not as easy as we all want or believe it to be. But when we do find that special someone and do make it to the “I Do’s”, some times it is not all the happily ever after we thought it would be.
My grandfather tells me that today people don’t and aren’t willing to put the effort into making a marriage work. He has even told me that he thinks I gave up instead of working through my problems in my marriage. I tell him I did not give up, I did not love my ex anymore and how is that giving up?
The thing is I do get where my grandfather is coming from. When times get tough it is easier to throw in the towel then deal with the issues, blaming one another for not being there and not listening or even being unfaithful. It is becoming more and more rare to see a couple making it to 25, 30, 40 or even a 50 year anniversaries. Most couples now divorce in the first year or two, or some time after all the kids arrive. Actually, having kids is one big reason some marriages fall apart. Maybe it is the added pressure that to survive in today’s economy most families have to be double income families. Back in the day my grandfather, as well as most men, alone could provide for their family. Perhaps this is one of many reasons, but I think it’s a major one. The family dynamic has changed completely.
I know my grandfather and grandmother went through tough times, but those tough times ended up bringing them closer together. When my grandmother passed away back in 1996 it broke my grandfather’s heart dearly. To this day he misses her and will love no one else. This is one reason why I still believe in love and finding that one true love … it is because of the love they had. That’s what I want.
Actually this is not the only story that makes me still believe in love. Working in long-term care, I have seen the good and bad. I have seen families put their love ones into long-term care and just leave them and rarely visit. But I have also seen those families come in every day with out question. One man came in every day to see his wife, he would feed her supper and walk her around the building, hold her hand and stroke her head, he loved her with all his heart until the day she died and was there when she passed. I think it is amazing even after so many years the love was so very real. It was very beautiful to see.
So for love and all it is worth … maybe sometimes it is worth fighting for when things seem like everything is falling apart. I know for my ex and I there was no love to fight for. But I am hoping that if there is a next time, that I am able to love with all of my heart to the end of my days.