Have you ever dreamt of finding love away from home, it’s all but impossible! The highly concentrated atmosphere of romance and relaxation is sometimes the perfect breeding ground for what could be a brand new experience for two … speaking from personal experience of course! This past week was amazing, I experienced something new with someone new and created a new friendship with the potential to be so much more … but never anything less.
Looking back at this experience there were 5 pivotal moments … and I would like to share them with you:
1. The Creation
If your stars always align and put you in the right spot at the right time for the right opportunity you can skip this step … better yet why are you even reading this? The reality for everyone else though is that if we want something to happen soon, especially in the short time span of a vacation, we need to either create the opportunity or provide the space for one to take place.
Ladies: Does your body language say “I’m ready to meet someone new’? Dancing in the middle of a circle full of women is a sure fire way to say don’t approach me. Be open with your energy. Set the table! Are you giving off the subtle signals that say “I’m available” ?
Gents: BE CREATIVE! Vacation is all about fun and relaxation so relax and have fun, make yourself a source of enjoyment and pleasure. Participant, dance, laugh and make a name for yourself as someone who thrives in the joy of life, or if you’re a little more laid back and direct saying good morning with a warm smile is the perfect way to leave a gentle impression on her day and puts you in great position for the next step.
However you do it creating the sense of familiarity which will help you to establish a pathway to the single most important piece of this whole experience … a sense of comfort ! Feeling comfortable with someone will make or break the start of a new relationship and it all begins with the creation.
2. The Connection
The other pivotal piece to a sense of comfort is reasoning! Why should we meet? this is where creating or taking advantage of the right opportunity comes into play. Imagine that I can fill a need for you whether that need be anything from a towel after a quick swim to a dance partner or even just someone to start a conversation with after an occurrence or event that we both just so happened to attend. We now have a reason to connect, add that to the fact we have already exchanged a few smiles and good mornings before hand and VOILA a natural connection at its best.
Interesting enough though, the moment of connection should not be long at all. In fact it should probably be one of your shortest encounters with the person of interest aside from saying good morning. Contrary to popular belief the connection is not where you “lay it on thick”! You can if it feels right, but if you really want to turn this quick encounter into something more …
- follow through with the reasoning of the encounter
- make a proper introduction filled with smiles and energy
- hint at the possibility of connecting again in the near future
The key is that you both leave with a new curiosity and desire to learn more about one another. Never try to force the situation because of a lack of time or let it rush you into a sloppy encounter, this can result in a very UNcomfortable situation! Instead accept that time is a non-issue because in reality if you never see this person again you have to be OK with that! With that being said you also have to have the mindset that if you do see them again it could be the last time, this next step is the complete opposite view of time. This is the moment you create the next most important piece to this whole experience: a sense of urgency!
3. Creating the moment
Let the idea that you may never see this person again inspire you to take action. The next opportunity that you have to make plans with them, do it! Express that you enjoyed the conversation you had and want to continue to learn more about who they are. Exchange the necessary information, make plans then and there or if you’re really feeling like a winner who’s to say that the date can’t start right away? Maybe you’re already in a situation that’s perfect for getting to know one another. Whatever the situation may be, use it to your advantage, a beautiful view, a cool breeze, a rising sun, a gentle song in the background that you can slowly dance to … if you haven’t noticed yet THIS is when you “lay it on thick”. Make this a moment you would tell someone back home about, something you will not soon forget.
4. A sense of urgency
Disclaimer and cautionary warning: When the sense of comfort is accompanied by the sense of urgency and a short time to capitalize on what seems to be a great opportunity it is often human nature to throw caution to the wind and do things you might not usually do. Hence the term YOLO! (You Only Live Once)
With that being said keep that in mind when deciding how far you will go with this new interest of yours and stick to your boundaries you’ve set.
On the other hand, with rules in place a YOLO mentality can also make your experience ten times stonger and add tremendous value to the potential of your new found relationship! Remember it’s human nature to take action when time is of the essence. when you have found someone that you are really interested in on vacation the day that you are scheduled to part is equivalent to the sky falling. DO NOT make the mistake of killing this feeling too early by hinting at the possibility of something existing after the vacation. Even though that is what you want in the end, it need not be said. The presence of the thought that this beautiful thing between you two will end soon and will create a sad romantic energy that will build the feelings needed to make you both agree that you MUST make a way to continue this relationship past 7 days. Let it happen naturally and you will bring strength to the bond … try to force this issue and you will lack motivation because the thought that you could lose them will not be there.
5. Converting to long term
At this point you have successfully presented yourself as approachable, created familiarity with another, seized the opportunity to make a proper introduction, made plans and created a strong moment and built up feelings through a sense of comfort and urgency. Now the time has come, the world is ending and the sky is falling but you don’t feel like what you have together is over. Hands that won’t let go, lips that speak of soft kisses and eyes glazed over with a look of love . Who ever knew it was possible to miss someone who’s right next to you. Laying on a hammock at 4 am, her head on your chest counting your heart beats while you look up to the night sky as if the stars have all the answers. This is the moment, reality has set in and you know right here and now how badly you want this to continue by how bad the thought of it ending hurts … and you thought you were just going on vacation. As you sit up you touch nose to nose and you ask “how can we make this work” and if its possible maybe something beautiful can come out of this.
Sure it may sound like a fairytale but isn’t the chance that this could become reality worth believing just a little? “In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities” and if you never allow the room to believe that it can happen it never will for you. As for me I choose to write my own endings. Someone I love once told me “Carpe Diem” … so I’m just seizing my day.