What do you do when you and a friend start having feelings for one another? Do you do the unthinkable and start dating your friend? Is it possible to go from friend to boyfriend or girlfriend without missing a beat? This is one of the hardest relationship transitions to make, but it isn’t impossible. Here’s what one single person’s dilemma….
Dear Dating Advice Girl,
One of my friends just told me that he’s liked me for years and wants to start dating. I’ve had a crush on him for a long time too, so I was super excited when he told me this news. My question is…Is it possible to go from just friends to boyfriend or girlfriend? I think this transition is one of the hardest to make and I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship if a relationship between us doesn’t work. Any suggestions on how to make the jump from friend to boyfriend without ruining everything?
The great news is that it sounds like you are both on the same page! That is half of the battle! It’s much more risky to start dating a friend if you only have lukewarm feelings for each other. Since you are hot for one another, your chances are good that you’ll be on the same page in terms of trying to date. Therefore I am all for you two switching your status from friendship to relationship.
The best relationships are built on a strong foundation of friendship.
Considering this fact, my only real tip going forward is to remember to Put Your Friendship First when pursuing a relationship with your friend.
Friendship is part of what created a strong connection between the two of you, so it should be honored and treated with respect. Even though dates, sleepovers and sex may be added into the mix, make sure you are still doing things that you did when you were just friends. The familiarity of the things you were doing as friends will help to keep some level of normalcy between the two of you and things won’t seem drastically different once you take things up a notch in your relationship. If you make your friendship the priority, you’re sure to remain friends even if the two of you don’t work out as a couple.
It can be scary to jump into a romantic relationship generally, but it can be even scarier to jump into a relationship with someone with whom you have a solid friendship. Above all, remember that if you decide to explore a relationship with a friend, make it a priority to stay friends with him or her no matter what. If you do have a special bond with your friend, you guys both adore each other, and you both feel like there is potential there, I encourage you to give a relationship a try. It is rare to find people you are truly comfortable with, attracted to and want to build something with. It’s a special thing to find these people and these relationships should be respectfully pursued if both parties are in agreement. Have a conversation with your friend to make sure you are both on the same page in terms of feelings, expectations, and make sure he understands what his friendship means to you. If your thoughts and feelings match up after this conversation, think about taking things to a more serious place. Just make sure to bring the fun of the friendship into the new relationship. That’s where the magic truly happens!
The Dating Advice Girl