“Feelin’ Frisky?” A Singles Online Dating Story by @Lolaspeaking

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I’m on a dating hiatus.  That’s what it’s called right?  When one can’t be bothered to respond to yet one more guy who claims to be looking for a relationship, until he gets your first email and then all bets are off and then makes it really clear he just wants to get into your pants?  I prefer hiatus, it’s shorter. 

I don’t often go online to send out emails unless someone really catches my eye.  Someone who has clearly put some time and effort into his profile and really wants to meet someone to share his life with.

The other day I did that.  I logged on and sent out a few emails to a few new guys who looked really great on my screen. Great photos, sexy foreheads (yes, it’s a thing), lots of great stuff in their profiles.  I emailed them and I heard back from one about an hour later.  He was my first choice so it was exciting that he’d emailed me back.  We chatted off and on, all afternoon.  He’s a chef, moved here about 2 years ago.  He was wanting to meet new people, open to dating or a relationship.  He said he would love to meet someone great as he’s had his fair share of “crazies”.  We have a lot in common, we have great banter, and it’s fun. A great distraction.  And it doesn’t hurt that he’s good looking.

I come home from my workout and he’s emailed me again.  We’re coming into a long weekend so I thought perhaps he’d want to make plans to get together.  I replied to his email and said I’d chat with him later as I needed to have a shower and make dinner, having just returned from the gym.  I immediately got a response and in it he said simply “Want some company…?”  I assumed he meant for dinner.  So I asked “for dinner?”  He said “No.  For your shower?”


I walked away from my laptop and went and had a shower. Alone.

I came back to find another email saying he’d just got home from playing squash and would I come over and wash his back for him.

I didn’t reply.

Later he sent another email letting me know exactly what we could do if I’d just let him come over…and then he let me know he’d started without me.

I didn’t reply.

The following day I didn’t hear from him at all.

Then 2 days ago, I get an email first thing in the morning and all it said was “Feeling frisky?”


Why did you waste my time?  Why did you pretend to want to get to know me and then let me know you’re looking for someone to share your life with.  Someone to travel with and someone who would enjoy your cooking?  Why on earth wouldn’t you just be straight and say you’re not looking for anything serious, that you simply want to get laid?  We’re all grown ups.  I don’t care if you want to get laid.  I don’t have any judgments about that.  I do however take exception when you spend half the day chatting me up, letting me think you’re looking for  more, only to find out you’re not.

Why not just be honest?  Rather than have a woman walk away with a bad taste in her mouth (no pun intended), why not just say what it is you want?  That way we can’t fault you for being honest.  You might wonder why women have such a bad attitude when it comes to online dating and why men think women are crazy.  Well some women might in fact be crazy and some men might in fact be sex maniacs, but for the most part, I would think that people are good.  So why then are so many people not willing to be honest?

It’s so much easier to respect people who are willing to be honest then those who aren’t.  Plain and simple.

So…the next time you’re horny and you need to “get some now”.  Maybe just consider that the woman (or man) on the other end of that email might want a relationship with their side of benefits.

That’s all I can ask. 

In the meantime..I continue to “hiate”. (Yes.  I just made that up.)

Until next time…

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I firmly believe that we are all put here on this earth to love each other. That there really is someone for everyone (sometimes more than one someone). I believe that we are meant to share our lives with another. And I promise you, I will not rest until I find it. Did i think I'd still be dating into my 40s? Not even a little bit. Will I come out on top? You bet I will. Love always wins.

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