Be careful when and where you meet a potential datable. This seems like common sense or obvious. And, yet, I am amazed at how many people do not heed this sound and safe advice.
Emailing or instant chatting or even talking on the phone can certainly give us a false sense of knowing someone. But, the truth is — you don’t really know that person you are talking to on the other end of the phone or computer. You owe it to yourself to be cautious and safe on where and when you meet someone.
Here are 5 rules to follow:
- Meet in a public location
- Do not meet the night you speak on the phone
- Do not have more than 2 alcoholic drinks (even you do imbibe) and Do not leave your drink unattended
- Park your car near the entrance of where you are meeting and under a light
- Do not invite your date back to your house on a 1st date
I have chatted with people and they have asked, “Do you want to grab a drink tonight?” I stutter, “Ugh … its 10pm … no … but you can invite me on a date with some advance notice.” If they don’t like that response, then I move on.
One time a few years ago, I was rather charmed by a very cute guy who was happy and witty and seemed intelligent. We chatted on the phone a few times and I was anxious to meet him. He was very open and told me a lot about his family. A day later I just happened to be telling a college friend about this person I was to meet and gave specifics about his background. She was silent and said, “Is his name John?” I said “Yes. Why?” She asked what town he lived in and I told her and then she paused and said, “Mare, that sounds exactly like the ex-husband of a friend of mine and they divorced because he could not hold a job and was diagnosed with schizophrenia and was bipolar.” My head was spinning. She warned me to be careful and not pursue this. I couldn’t believe it. I sent her a pic of the guy and sure enough … it was him. The point of this story is that you really do not know who you are talking to. And, until you do know them, it is in your best interest and safety to be cautious and make sure not to put yourself in a situation alone with a person you don’t really know.
As some of our readers may know, my writing partner and I are working on a book, “LifeBytes™ Real Stories … Of Online Dating.” We have solicited stories for our anthology and received amazing tales from around the world. We received one story from a woman who came to meet someone she had emailed, talked and skyped with for 9 months. She traveled to the city he lived in and stayed in a hotel. He insisted on coming to her room to meet get her and take her out for their date. She allowed this. When she opened the door, he pushed his way in and for the next 3 days he raped and tortured her. She had a false sense of security with him and THOUGHT she knew him well. Sadly she did not and was the victim of a horrific crime that will forever affect her.
So, my cautious warning is based on real experiences that underscore the importance of keeping yourself safe.