The W.U.W.U talk – or that moment when a couple asks each other “what’s up with us.” Next to the first hello and the “will you marry me,” it’s the most defining moment in a relationship. It’s the conversation that effectively determines the “what’s next” and “where are we going.” Sometimes it’s just a declaration – “I’m not seeing anyone else.” Sometimes it’s a question: “so are we, ya know, exclusive.”
However it happens, I don’t really know anyone whose heart doesn’t race a little, mostly in fear, about the prospects of the discussion.
“Maybe it’s too early to bring up the topic of exclusivity, but I don’t want to get other girls’ numbers. I don’t want to kiss other girls. I don’t want to sleep with other girls. I just want to be with you.”
We had only been going together for a month when he told me this, and had it been any other guy I might have screamed in an attempt to put on the breaks. But considering he had me at “hello,” I was as ready as he was to call this “something.” Instead of screaming, I melted.
“Me too. I just want to be with you.”
Phew! That was easy.
Maybe It’s Too Early
What does that mean –“too early?” How many weeks, how many dates, how many months need to pass before it’s not “too early” but rather it’s just right to determine a relationship status?
Before him, I would have said you need at least 3 months before you can have the W.U.W.U talk. Frankly, D and I, we were ready to have our W.U.W.U talk after the first date. My best friend and her boyfriend? It took them a year… and 2 years later, they’re happily engaged.
The punchline? Every couple has its own story, its own trajectory, and its own timeline. You’ll know when you’re ready to make that commitment and ask, What’s Up with Us?