Do you remember in grade school when our coaches would teach us about our competition? Sometimes we would watch videos, or even go to one of their games… all to do what exactly? Gain an edge.
Recently, one of my girlfriends asked me if I knew what I was up against in the dating world, and honestly I couldn’t give her a solid answer because all I had were assumptions gained from the messages I received from users on the dating websites.
Some examples are as follows:
“I was glad to come across your profile. You seem to be very interesting and different from any other girl…”
“Your profile is very refreshing compared to what I’ve seen…”
“Just thought it was refreshing to see someone as interesting as you on here…”
Now, you’re probably wondering what exactly is on my profile. Well, I have one cropped photo—that’s rather blurry, and a short summary of what I do for work, play, and then what I am looking for. Short, clean, classy, and in my opinion, intriguing. And I am very confident in my profile because I average about 3.5 emails a day on one dating website.
But this begs the question of: what sets my profile apart from all of the other women? Even though I knew I had an edge (from the emails I had received), I needed to know why I had an edge (so that I could keep it that way, of course).
I came up with the idea of seeing exactly what guys see when it comes to online dating in my area. So, I selected a free online dating website and set up an account for a guy in search of a woman around the same age and in the same location as myself.
To my surprise, my assumptions were not that far off. I only came across a handful of women (ages 22-26) that had tasteful profiles listed for the purpose of actually wanting to meet someone to date, as opposed to just hooking up.
What I wasn’t expecting to see was how many women were extremely, extremely, vulnerable and almost careless with the information that they shared about themselves. Maybe I am too careful with the information I share, but you never know who is looking at your profile and then searching for you on social networking sites due to the information on your profile.
So what did I learn from my analysis?
I learned that I do not need to change anything on my profile, but that I may need to put up a better photo of myself. While I was scrolling through all of my “matches,” I noticed that only the bright photos caught my eye. When the search engine returns all of the matches, our photos are very small…and a small dark photo could easily be passed over.
I also learned that we, members of the online dating world, need to learn to market ourselves better. We need to learn how to sell ourselves as if we were trying to sell a product that we believed in. We need to make sure that we know who our target audience is (who it is that we are trying to attract). We need to make sure that our profile says what is unique about us, what sets us apart from everyone else, what our best qualities are, and what we are looking for.
To help you come about this easily I have a few questions to think about as you are creating/editing your profile:
1) Does your profile display your best qualities? What do you have to offer? What is unique about you? What sets you apart from everyone else? Learn to sell yourself!
2) Are you datable? If so, why are you datable? Would you want to date yourself and why? Be the type of person that you’d want to date.
3) What type of person are you trying to attract? What exactly are you looking for? A serious relationship, new friendships, a hook-up buddy? Define clearly what you are looking for.
5) Are you leaving a good impression by what you’re saying and by your photos? You communicate by what you’re wearing (or not wearing) in your pictures.
Remember: Every time someone looks at your profile it is an opportunity to make an impression. Do not let them get away!
For more advice on how you can enhance your dating profile click here.