The Shun Test by @SingleDC

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I didn’t go to college to get my MRS degree contrary to everyone’s opinion (I might have been a bit boy crazy in my university years), but every time I would travel the 1,316 miles back from school in DC home to Texas during the holidays, my uncle liked to think that the MRS degree was the only thing I was trying to attain.

You see my uncle has two boys. One is two years older than me, and the other is two years younger, but I think that my uncle just really and truly had a part of him that wanted a daughter, because he loves dating gossip. It’s also possible he just likes to make me feel awkward.

For example

“So hows boy X?”
“What do you mean you broke up?”
“Are you dating anyone new?”
“Let me just buy you a whole rack of condoms! What kind do you like?”
“Well you should really consider it. You’re still quite young, but you ain’t got many more years on them hips.”

“Uncle, I’m not rushing into anything, and if I do find someone it’s gonna take a while.”

“Good, just remember that when you do find someone… anyone really… in fact you probably shouldn’t date them at all, unless they pass the Shun Test.”

“I’m sorry?”

“The Shun Test.”

“Yeah…. I’ll make sure to shun them as much as possible… I’ll just ignore them for weeks on end until they love me” insert eye-roll…  “that’s how a relationship works right?” 

“No no no…  the Tion Test”

What’s the Tion Test you ask?

Well… My uncle comes from a time when women were taken care of by their husbands, and he currently lives in a time where women are independent fire brands who are trying to gain gender equality, but he’s mainly of the mindset that if you’re going to marry someone, whether you’re the bride or groom, you should be able to take care of yourself, AS SHOULD YOUR PARTNER.

The Tion/Shun Test is a series of questions that you need to ask yourself before getting seriously involved with any partner, because if the answers aren’t yes, you’re going to be supporting them before you’re even ready to make a serious commitment.

Questions

1. Do they have an Occupation?
2.Do they have Habitation?
3.Do they have Transportation?
4.Do they have Ambition?

You can add more as you see fit, like “Can they acquire medication (like for health insurance)?” or “Do they have a university accreditation?”

Really the list is endless, but the four basic questions should be the same. Why does this matter you ask? (One) Stop being daft. (Two) If you’re just getting involved with someone you should be focusing on all the great things about being in a dating relationship, not figuring out how to support them. That’s not your job… that’s theirs.

If they don’t have a job, someone else has to support them financially… do you really want it to be you?

If they don’t have a house/apartment/place to live… they’re going to need somewhere to do that, and do you really want it to be at your place? On your couch?

If they don’t have means of transportation be it the metro/bus/car/moped, someone is going to have to bring them everywhere, and do you want to take time out of your busy social life to do it?

And if they don’t have Ambition, you’re going to constantly be kicking them in the rear end trying to get them to accomplish the most menial tasks. Trust me… You don’t want to be kicking someone else’s rear in gear while also trying to achieve your goals, because if it’s a struggle, before long you’re going to be battered and bruised and your ambitionless partner isn’t going to be able to pick you up from the depths of despair.

So do yourself a favor ladies and gentlemen, as soon as you start dating someone and you think you might want to become involved in a relationship with them – give them the Shun Test and if they don’t pass… shun them to the curb.

Happy Hunting!
Catch me on my blog, www.single-dc.blogspot.com 

 

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SingleDC is a dating aficionado with a penchant for finding romance and laughter in the most random places of Washington, DC and beyond. Sometimes single and sometimes not, she offers up stories, embarrassing and non, to let others learn from her mistakes, failures, and triumphs.

3 Comments

  • May 11, 2012

    Joanna Rothman

    I love this! When I was younger, I probably would have “shunned” this theory, but now, as a financially-independent hard working woman, I completely agree with the “tion” test.

    • May 15, 2012

      Jonathan

      It’s a clever idea isn’t it…

  • May 11, 2012

    singledatingdiva

    This is great and I completely agree, it’s one thing when you’re in your early 20’s and you are building your lives together, but the older you get you need someone more established in their life. It demonstrates their drive and ambition which is important.